Pregnant and Fat

I was the world’s most miserable pregnant woman.

But, I would give anything to have a pill that would trick my body into believing it was 4 ½ months pregnant for the rest of my life. Why? Because being pregnant made my body do what it was supposed to do! All the good-for-you foods I ate were absorbed and I got the nice shiny hair, strong long nails, glowing pink skin… All the bad-for-you foods I ate were simply processed and discarded like it’s supposed to. I didn’t look at a donut or a burger commercial on TV and gain 3 pounds via osmosis! I was simply “normal.” And I liked it. At 4 ½ months pregnant, I felt GREAT. For like a week…