Pregnant and Fat

I was the world’s most miserable pregnant woman.

But, I would give anything to have a pill that would trick my body into believing it was 4 ½ months pregnant for the rest of my life. Why? Because being pregnant made my body do what it was supposed to do! All the good-for-you foods I ate were absorbed and I got the nice shiny hair, strong long nails, glowing pink skin… All the bad-for-you foods I ate were simply processed and discarded like it’s supposed to. I didn’t look at a donut or a burger commercial on TV and gain 3 pounds via osmosis! I was simply “normal.” And I liked it. At 4 ½ months pregnant, I felt GREAT. For like a week…


Of course, the weeks leading up to 4 ½ months pregnant were terrible. Within days of getting the positive home pregnancy test, I was nauseous. Really nauseous. The smell of food was sometimes more than I could handle. Even the good stuff was off-limits… I could smell fried chicken from the freeway when I came home from work at night... from a KFC 2 miles away! Of course the chicken odor was often fighting with the smell of the horses that were housed nearby. Gross. I decided soon into pregnancy that eating was overrated anyway.

Soon nausea turned into vomiting. It started on Christmas Eve… not a pleasant way to spend happy holiday meals with a ton of people, that’s for sure! But we were telling them on Christmas anyway, so I didn’t have to hide it much longer. I had requested the week off of work between Christmas and New Years back in the fall so that I could “relax” but little did I know that I was going to need that entire week off to adjust to the morning-noon-and-night sickness which had become my only focus! I had already been given 2 ultrasounds for this pregnancy and the pictures and blood work showed 1 healthy baby growing in there, so that I was super sick wasn’t a concern to my doc. As a matter of fact, he told me that if I were of normal weight, he might give me some medicine or even hospitalize me since the vomiting was so severe, but I had enough “wiggle room” on my body that I could stand to lose a few pounds during my pregnancy. Thanks…

It wasn’t for another few weeks that we found out the most probably cause of my severe morning sickness, or Hyperemesis Gravidarum (http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/morningsickness/a/aa111499.htm) … TWINS. (and girls, as it turned out!). All along the first 4 months, I lost weight. I didn’t look pregnant at all. I only showed the gaunt sick look of someone who had a bad flu bug. I think some people thought I was lying when I told them I just found out I was (14 weeks) pregnant with twins. I certainly thought I should at least look pregnant instead of simply “really fat.” I lived on a diet of chocolate milk, bananas and drinkable yogurt … but only because it wasn’t terrible coming back up. And it always did.

Finally at 19 weeks pregnant, the nausea subsided and only occasionally peaked out its ugly head – about once a month, just as a reminder! I felt GREAT. I had a lot of energy, my skin started to glow, my hair got shiny and stopped falling out in clumps. I thought maybe I could eat something! Oh, and I did! I rediscovered my joy of food and gained 2 pounds. I was actually proud of myself for that gaining weight!  I went to lunch with my girlfriends every chance I got!

Then came the 22 week appointment where the doctor said, “We might have a problem… I think you’re diabetic.” The tests came back screaming “get this girl some insulin, stat!” Ugh…. Shoot me now! Just when the mere thought of food didn’t send me running to the bathroom to hurl, I now am stuck eating plain chicken, veggies, and sugar free pudding for the next 4 months?? Are you KIDDING ME?! I was so sad that I couldn’t be one of those TV-cliche pregnant moms who cheerfully wake up their husbands at 3 AM to go fetch them a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream! On top of that great news, the doctor felt it was time for me to quit work and sit on my butt for the rest of my pregnancy too. I couldn’t imagine a world where spending hours in front of the TV was required that didn’t also include a boatload of bon bons. Adding insult to injury, I also had to self-eject insulin into my belly twice a day and prick my finger 6 times a day for the next 4 months.

Eating good had its perks… the scale only inched up a few pounds during my pregnancy, AFTER I had already lost a ton of weight. I delivered the babies full term, at 38 ½ weeks, when I was 15 pounds LESS than my starting weight, and after only 4 weeks, I had shed all 45 pounds of baby weight that came along with the girls. My ending weight put me 60 pounds LESS than the day I conceived and only 20 pounds more than I was when I got married. I was THRILLED at the renewed me. I could see my feet again, my ankles weren’t swollen sausages, my face had definition and I kinda looked cute! OK, still way fat, but thinking this whole pregnancy thing was an easy way out with 2 seriously cute and cuddly benefits to show for it!