Tough it up Thursday

Wow... it's been another week of non-stop stuff.  I just have to share because it's no wonder I got sick this morning.  Plus people claim my stories crack them up... we'll see if the comments reflect that this time.  This story is not for the sensitive or faint of heart.  It's T.M.I. to the max.

On Monday, I had the most fabulous 100-minute deep tissue massage.  Special treat to myself for my crappy Valentine's Day!  I know, you're all foaming-at-the-mouth jealous of me, right?  Later that day, I was as sore as I would have been had I actually worked out for that length of time instead of being a bump on a bed having someone else do all the work.  My Purple Twinkie fell asleep in my arms that night and as I rose to walk her up the stairs, I felt every pound of her in my body... each step seemed like an impossible feat, but I did it.  I got her upstairs and tucked in bed.  Whew.  Later as I got my first tall glass of water late in the evening (oops), I felt like I was hit by a truck... sore all over, but I got my water and plopped on the couch.  The cat came over for some love then walked away somewhere.  Next thing I know, there is 24 ounces of ice cold water splashing the back of my neck...  thanks kitty.  I leave most of it where it fell because I was too sore to bend over and clean it!  D'oh!  I never got up to refill, either.  Low on ice.  My own fault there.

Are you feeling even slightly sorry for me yet?

Tuesday morning, I realized I was still on weekend night time schedule, but unfortunately back on weekday wake up schedule... 5 hours was just not enough.  And I was still sore.  Like really sore.  I do all the normal mommy things for a Tuesday morning... unload the dishwasher, make waffles, load up the dishwasher, run a load of laundry...  looking at the clock, hoping 11 AM would come sometime soon and my Danish salvation (aka New Nanny) would appear to do my bidding.   I needed an energy drink to kick start my day.  Even though it was 10 am and that was the first thing I had since waking a little after 6.  I hit the road at 12 to make my way to West LA and decided I needed the biggest ice tea ever at a Jack in the Box along the way... that oughta hit the spot.

I can hear my mother now saying... TAMI!  DRINK YOUR WATER!  I turned mom's voice off.  The ice tea was tart and bitter (no sugar... I was being good) but somehow I needed that.

Around 5 pm, I got that weird feeling.  You know, down there.  Wait a minute... The ice tea was gone an hour ago, so why do I need to pee again?  And again?  Uh oh.  And again!  Oh no... this is not good.  And again. 

It's starting to get miserable but I have enough work to keep me busy until 8pm, so I really need to stay.  Finally I gave up and drove straight to a gas station for 3 bottles of outrageously priced cranberry juice.  That oughta help.  (My mom, now coming in clear as a bell... WATER WATER WATER!!!)  Ok, all three bottles down the hatch, with a water chaser just for mom.  Cool.

Oh wait, not cool.  After 45 minutes on the road, with the last leg of my trek at the horizon.... a sign that says 57 South Closed.  Take Detour.  Ok, now I gotta pee, folks, and I'm in PAIN.  Not just full bladder pain, but aching kidney pain that was screaming, forget the detour, go to the ER stat!!!  I take the detour.  I think I know better than the sign pointing the opposite way of where I want to go, so I go my way (again mom is in my head tsk'ing at me for being so stubborn and ignoring the detour signs).  I should mention that I am new to the area, it was pitch black out, and my car was starting to run on empty.  I make it all the way to the canyon road I knew about and see a freeway on ramp.  I decide to go for it.  Except it was west-bound only.  Not east.  Or south.  Either way would have worked...  Illegal U-turn, and find the correct on ramp - yay!  Except it too was closed.  Are ya kidding me?  Back to the canyon route and off I go on a super dark adventure Nanny and I used to call "unintentional exploration."  15 minutes later and I found the on ramp that would drop me at home in 5 minutes. 

I almost scream when I use the restroom.  Obvious kidney distress...  I grab the iPod and head straight to the ER.  Finally back at home, I can't sleep until after 2:30 AM due to the horrendous bladder pain.

At 4 AM, the Purple Twincess climbs into bed with me.  Too tired to care, I let her.

Suddenly I was being poked in the back.  Poke.  Poke.  Poke.  Ahhh.... #4, my Pink Twinkie decided to wake me up a little after 6.  She climbs into bed to find #1 sleeping and they decide to get into a pushing match over the spot next to mommy.  So... sleep is out of the question.  Time to go be a mom.  At least I'm not in tears due to the pain, but it still hurts enough to hurry downstairs and load up on the meds again.

This time, gotta get kids ready for preschool and take New Nanny on some errands.  I drop off the Twincesses, then drop Nanny off, and the Twinkies and I head out on our adventure for the morning.  Chantings of "hamburger hamburger hamburger" fill the car.  Really?  It's 10:30!!  Well OK, sure, hamburgers it is.  The kids split a burger combo and I get a 3-piece chicken strip box from Carl's Junior.   At 11:15, Nanny needs a ride to the bank so we wrap it up and grab her from her appointment just a block away. 

Suddenly I felt nauseous... the meds, the chicken, the lack of sleep... it all was too much.  I pulled over to "visit" a bush in a parking lot and step out of the car.  As I did, my sore body screamed in pain and when I bent over to throw up, I pulled a muscle and practically hit the floor.  Seriously, I just pulled a muscle in my BUTT.  How does one do that??!??!  I guess I am just "special", or something, to be able to pull that one off.

Off to grab the Twincesses, drop off Nanny and the Twinkies at home, take the Twincesses to a play date then come home at 3, exhausted beyond words.  We also said goodbye to "old Nanny" that afternoon.  She is on a plane to Holland in the morning.  Lots of tears from my girls, and me. More toxins and emotions being dumped into the cesspool now known as "Tami."


I spent the rest of the day, literally unable to stand up straight.  I yelped each time I sat down, stood up, walked or bent over.  I was worthless.  But I *was* drinking my water with vigor!  (Mom is clapping now... and telling me to take my "greens"). 

Unfortunately, the damage was already done.  I dumped too many toxins in my body by having that massage and NOT drinking my water.  I added insult to injury by then having to take antibiotics to kick the kidney infection.  I didn't take my greens fast enough.  I realized late that night that I was on the verge of getting a cold.  I ignored my mom's voice telling me to take another handful of greens and drink a ton of water, and instead stayed up working until 1:30.  This was on less than 4 hours of sleep from the prior night, too....  I was lucky enough to get barely 4 more hours of sleep Wednesday night, and awoke Thursday with a full blown cold.  That'll teach me.  (Nope, probably not.)

Oh yeah... are you jealous of my 100-minute massage NOW?

A whole bunch of a lot of things...

Update time!

I went to the gym today and my weigh in was 51.2 pounds down from surgery day!  Yay me!  I still feel guilty for losinng weight even when I do NOTHING to help my cause.  I think I found the ice cream stash more than once this week - shhhhh!  Don't tell!

My new Danish au pair totally rocks.  She's been here for about 10 days so far and is proving to be a great match for our family!  We had a blast celebrating a Danish holiday today.  The girls dressed up in princess outfits, nanny as a witch, and me in my LA Kings hockey jersey (complete with black eyes and "missing teeth") - which is so not cool in the O.C.!  We hit a barrel (pinata) with a cat (candy) inside and ate these incredible homemade buns with pudding and frosting.  I really have no idea what it was all about but it is supposed to be similar to Halloween.  Good times!

In fact, today I am guesting on nanny's laptop because mine decided today to not work anymore.  It is realllllly weird typing with a Danish computer... the keyboard is full of those funny letters like the 'o' with a slash through it, the Æ letters and all that Scandinavian jazz.  So if there is a typo, you will have to forgive me until I can edit this thing on a computer that speaks my language!  Danish spell check thinks every word is wrong!!  And, the screen is so tiny, that I can fit my entire palm on the screen and fill it up completely, so I can't even see what I am writing!

I like to follow other multiple mom's blog's and one multiples community blogsite featured me today!  Check out my post at Multiples.... and More.  Better yet, go send them some bloggy love too!  I know I will, as soon as 1) I wake up, or 2) find an English computer that works, or 3) get to work ad hijack their laptop!

Have a great day, dear readers!!

My Valentine's Day

My Valentine's Day started off just like any other random day: a kid-related wake up call at 2:30 AM.  My husband, who is on a terrible (but lucrative) overtime assignment for the next two weeks), was up at 2:30 and heard my daughter (Twincess #2) wheezing and hacking in her sleep.  He brought her to me, gave me a quick kiss, wished me a happy Valentine's Day, and told me #2 needed a breathing treatment.  Greeaaaaat.  So I'm up for an hour with a girl who I keep having to pulling off the ceiling because she's so amp'ed on albuterol!  When we do fall asleep, snuggling together in my bed, my sleep is interrupted with her spotty breathing. 

At 7, we all get up to face the day.  Another breathing treatment for #2, breakfast, then off to school for the Twincesses, complete with Valentine's cards and pink rice krispie treats for the class, and then off to "Toddler Boot Camp" with the Twinados (whom I think I will renamed the Twinkies now that they don't leave a path of total destruction in their wake).  At noon, I pick up the Twincesses to find a pink note from the teachers: "Don't bring your sick kids to school!"  Gotta love their memory ... when I dropped of #2 I told them she had an asthma attack.  No big deal, but yeah, the girl can't breathe and she's going to cough!  If they didn't want her there, at that time was when you should say, why don't you take her home.... right?

Lunch, then another breathing treatment for #2, and then I called the doctor's office for an appointment.  I told the operator she was having a pretty bad asthma attack and the home nebulizer treatments weren't working too well.  The first appointment I could get was for 7:30 at night.  Really?  I got a text from the hubby, "horrible day at work, I feel terrible, love you!"  Poor hubby - just a few more hours until he can come home.  It's 1:30 and it's nap time for all (including me). 

Hubby comes home at 4pm, exhausted from his day and just passes out cold.  I felt terrible waking him up at 6:30 so I could take my pink Twincess to the doctor's appointment.  We left at 6:35 to drive out a half hour to the urgent care center they sent us to (because the center 0.3 miles from my new home was closed at 5pm), where my daughter struggled to breathe until 8:45 when we were finally seen by the doctor.  We got home at 10:45 and I finally managed to calm down #2, who was so whacked out on breathing meds that her poor little heart looked like it was trying to escape her body!

I climbed into bed at 11:30 and accidentally woke my husband who gave me a sleepy, almost obligatory kiss, and rolled over again, in anticipation of his 2:30am alarm.

It truly is love that will allow for a Valentine's Day like this.  There was no hurt feelings for lack of exchange of cards, for seeing each other in person for all of 9 minutes for the entire day, no wonderful dinner (well, the kids and I had a great steak dinner during hubby's nap... since he doesn't eat beef!), no flowers, no candy or chocolate.  Without true love, this could have been a day of bitterness and resentment.  Instead I am grateful I was able to spend time with all of my kids during the day, and even more grateful for my husband and the great provider that he is.  And, I did get to go out on a date... but it was to the hospital rather than a movie, and I had a kid with me instead of a spouse.



As for February 15?  Well, apparently Groundhog's Day moved because it's been a repeat so far!

The funniest place you've ever nursed or changed a diaper!

I was just visiting MomBloggersClub website and saw a title that tickled my fancy...  I clicked on Granola Grizzly Mama's site to check out her latest post. First of all, I liked her name.  Random thing about me... the vast majority of my new mom friends (i.e. friends I met while pregnant or BECAUSE I had kids) are the more naturalistic "crunchy" breastfeedin', natural-birthin' kind of mamas.  And I am so not.  But I think I would have been if my circumstances were different.  I digress...  The post was about the funnier or more unusual places Granola Grizzly Mama nursed her babies "on the go," so this is my take on it (which is pretty much like my response on her posting, but I added to it!)  And, I just had to change the rules. 

If I could recall all the places I've changed a diaper on the fly, that would be an impressive list. For the past 4 1/2 years, I have had at least 2 in diapers and for well over 1 year, I had 4 in diapers. No... my kids aren't still peeing themselves into the 3rd grade... I just had lots of kids in under 2 years. :-) I am the queen of changing twin toddler girls both in under a minute flat. It is possible, so long as it's just pee! So also note, when I am changing one diaper, chances are, my other 3 are strapped into the car, a stroller, all of them cloistered in one toilet stall, or out in public and told to hang onto my shirt with the fear of God put into them that if they let go, they will surely regret it.

So... I've changed diapers:

• in a car (in the trunk, back seat chair, back seat floor, drivers and passenger seats and passenger floor, and with child standing on the tailgate)
• at a park
• at the mall
• in grocery stores
• at Disneyland (in line at a ride)
• at the zoo (on the tram)
• on the Queen Mary (out on the deck)
• at the beach
• at a concert (during a song, of course)
• at church
• on the ledge of a pool
• on a bus bench
• in a booth at a restaurant (yeah, I'm one of those moms but only if I am certain no one will notice what I am doing)
• at a bar in a country club (did I mention I was one of those moms too?!)
• on the set of Dexter, Two and a Half Men, Ghost Whisperer, and According to Jim (yep, studio exec's just love me for that... and Charlie Sheen may have been slightly annoyed)
• I am sure the list can go on and on and on... but my memory is pathetic sometimes.

But the BEST one? Just happened this week. I was being questioned by the police and I changed the crappiest, nastiest diaper ever right in front of the cop with a gun and a clipboard.  I mean, my poor kid had a nasty diaper and was whining about it, so was I going to make her sit in it for another hour?  Nope, because that's the kind of mama I am.

Do I win?  Or can you top that?!

Photos courtesy of Google Images