Twin Factory

oBand blogspot #2

2011-08-11T22:36:00.000-07:00

I used to weigh in almost daily right after the surgery, excited to watch the scale leap downwards. Of course, after the initial weight fell off and I “leveled off”, I was discouraged that I wasn’t still losing 5 pounds a week! In fact, once I lost 10% of my body weight, I plateaued for almost 6 weeks. But, I kept working at it diligently and got over that plateau; and was delighted when the scale starting dropping again. Now I weigh in much less frequently. I let my clothes and my reflection be my guide. I actually enjoy looking at myself in the mirror now… my shape is really starting to look much smoother and I am wearing clothes I had boxed up 12 years ago and expected never to see again! Since most of them are out-dated, I allow myself to splurge on a new item or two as I keep dropping sizes. (On a side note, I put on a T-shirt I wore a lot last year, and it imply looked ridiculous on me this summer! I loved that feeling!)
It’s been two weeks since I’ve “weighed in”. Last year, that statement might have caused me to break out in a rash, have heart palpitations, and become drenched in sweat. This year, I seriously look forward to jumping on the scale! This morning’s result? 87 pounds lost since surgery date! Two weeks left to my “anniversary”! Will I reach 90 pounds? That is such a huge goal… and one I NEVER expected to see – even in 5 years –just by diet and exercise alone.

Thanks Dr. Naim! Thanks oBand Surgical Center!

oBand blogspot #1

2011-07-07T23:13:00.000-07:00

I just voiced another oBand commercial today. How lucky am I to be tied to such a great company (both oBand and Go Country 105, of course!)?!
And this is the blogspot I created for the Go Country 105 microsite on their webpage:

I have never successfully lost weight with a diet or exercise regime, certainly never more than 40 pounds at a time, and kept it all off longer than 3 months. Once I got bored with it or my body became used to the change, I usually I gained all the weight back, and then some extra, just for safe keeping. I finally gave up trying because if I ignored my weight problem and food intake, I would gain slower than if I tried to diet! So when I initially learned of the LapBand, I was pretty skeptical. I doubted it would work for me… nothing else had. When I decided now was the time, I was still insecure at first. But I figured if I only lost 50 pounds because of the procedure, it would still be 50 pounds I could not have lost on my own, and I would have the tools in place to maintain that weight in the future. Why wait?

After attending a few seminars and doing some research on the procedure, I connected with oBand Surgery Centers and met with Dr. Naim. The staff at the oBand Center are great, and they were confident this would work for me. I became confident that I would be successful, too. My goal was lofty, in my opinion… I wanted to lose 75 pounds in the one year after my surgery.

My life-changing appointment with Dr. Naim at the oBand Center was almost 11 months ago. I never dreamed I would meet AND then exceed my goals. To date, I have lost over 80 pounds and now I hope to exceed 85 pounds by the one year anniversary of my new lease on life!

Check in on me in about 6 weeks, will you? I will be the one shouting my joy from the rooftops!

photo credit: see earlier credits in prior blog entries

Hey folks! I'm still here!

2011-05-03T23:07:00.000-07:00

I updated my latest weight loss in on www.myfitnesspal.com and was really stoked to go back to my blog and see "70" staring back at me. WOW. That's pretty heavy stuff! 70 pounds!!!

So what's happened since I went to oBand Surgery Center on August 13th, 2010?

I've lost at least 12 inches off my hips/waist.
I've lost 4 full dress sizes... I even got into a fun cocktail dress from back in the day - that looked GREAT - that was 5 sizes down from my highest regular size. I won't count the one size above regular that I bought when I was 8 months pregnant with the Twinkies or the other few larger sizes with very unforgiving fabrics.
I've lost 3 notches on my watch, which originally was pretty snug on the very last hole...
I've lost 5 bathing suit sizes. It really felt good to hit the pool this summer!!
I've lost at least 6 inches from around my back/chest.
I've lost 2 cup sizes. Not so awesome. Oh well.
I've lost my mind...wait, that was the lobotomy I got recently.
I've even lost a width of a shoe size.

But what I've lost the most?

A little inhibition. I still do want to crawl into a corner when the spotlight is on me, but I'm less likely to avoid the camera flashes. I even voluntarily got up and did some karaoke at a twins convention this weekend!
A little humility. In a good way of course... I am happy to accept compliments now. I love it when friends and family goes out of their way to tell me how great I look. I actually say thank you, and mean it. And I don't feel like I am fishing for them... they come naturally and easily. I still sometimes blush. ;-)

I've GAINED:

confidence.
happiness.
more friends - because I'm exuding the aforementioned confidence and happiness!
and apparently, "longer arms" because I can wrap them around other people farther!

Yay me! But I still have a long way to go. Maybe this time I won't be absent for so long!

Freaky Friday

2011-03-11T18:53:00.000-08:00

So I managed to lose 8 pounds in the past 24 hours. Oh yeah, you heard me right. And all I had to was lay there and sleep. You want this magic pill too, don'tcha?

Stomach flu rocks.

Tough it up Thursday

2011-02-24T20:29:00.000-08:00

Wow... it's been another week of non-stop stuff. I just have to share because it's no wonder I got sick this morning. Plus people claim my stories crack them up... we'll see if the comments reflect that this time. This story is not for the sensitive or faint of heart. It's T.M.I. to the max.

On Monday, I had the most fabulous 100-minute deep tissue massage. Special treat to myself for my crappy Valentine's Day! I know, you're all foaming-at-the-mouth jealous of me, right? Later that day, I was as sore as I would have been had I actually worked out for that length of time instead of being a bump on a bed having someone else do all the work. My Purple Twinkie fell asleep in my arms that night and as I rose to walk her up the stairs, I felt every pound of her in my body... each step seemed like an impossible feat, but I did it. I got her upstairs and tucked in bed. Whew. Later as I got my first tall glass of water late in the evening (oops), I felt like I was hit by a truck... sore all over, but I got my water and plopped on the couch. The cat came over for some love then walked away somewhere. Next thing I know, there is 24 ounces of ice cold water splashing the back of my neck... thanks kitty. I leave most of it where it fell because I was too sore to bend over and clean it! D'oh! I never got up to refill, either. Low on ice. My own fault there.

Are you feeling even slightly sorry for me yet?

Tuesday morning, I realized I was still on weekend night time schedule, but unfortunately back on weekday wake up schedule... 5 hours was just not enough. And I was still sore. Like really sore. I do all the normal mommy things for a Tuesday morning... unload the dishwasher, make waffles, load up the dishwasher, run a load of laundry... looking at the clock, hoping 11 AM would come sometime soon and my Danish salvation (aka New Nanny) would appear to do my bidding. I needed an energy drink to kick start my day. Even though it was 10 am and that was the first thing I had since waking a little after 6. I hit the road at 12 to make my way to West LA and decided I needed the biggest ice tea ever at a Jack in the Box along the way... that oughta hit the spot.

I can hear my mother now saying... TAMI! DRINK YOUR WATER! I turned mom's voice off. The ice tea was tart and bitter (no sugar... I was being good) but somehow I needed that.

Around 5 pm, I got that weird feeling. You know, down there. Wait a minute... The ice tea was gone an hour ago, so why do I need to pee again? And again? Uh oh. And again! Oh no... this is not good. And again.

It's starting to get miserable but I have enough work to keep me busy until 8pm, so I really need to stay. Finally I gave up and drove straight to a gas station for 3 bottles of outrageously priced cranberry juice. That oughta help. (My mom, now coming in clear as a bell... WATER WATER WATER!!!) Ok, all three bottles down the hatch, with a water chaser just for mom. Cool.

Oh wait, not cool. After 45 minutes on the road, with the last leg of my trek at the horizon.... a sign that says 57 South Closed. Take Detour. Ok, now I gotta pee, folks, and I'm in PAIN. Not just full bladder pain, but aching kidney pain that was screaming, forget the detour, go to the ER stat!!! I take the detour. I think I know better than the sign pointing the opposite way of where I want to go, so I go my way (again mom is in my head tsk'ing at me for being so stubborn and ignoring the detour signs). I should mention that I am new to the area, it was pitch black out, and my car was starting to run on empty. I make it all the way to the canyon road I knew about and see a freeway on ramp. I decide to go for it. Except it was west-bound only. Not east. Or south. Either way would have worked... Illegal U-turn, and find the correct on ramp - yay! Except it too was closed. Are ya kidding me? Back to the canyon route and off I go on a super dark adventure Nanny and I used to call "unintentional exploration." 15 minutes later and I found the on ramp that would drop me at home in 5 minutes.

I almost scream when I use the restroom. Obvious kidney distress... I grab the iPod and head straight to the ER. Finally back at home, I can't sleep until after 2:30 AM due to the horrendous bladder pain.

At 4 AM, the Purple Twincess climbs into bed with me. Too tired to care, I let her.

Suddenly I was being poked in the back. Poke. Poke. Poke. Ahhh.... #4, my Pink Twinkie decided to wake me up a little after 6. She climbs into bed to find #1 sleeping and they decide to get into a pushing match over the spot next to mommy. So... sleep is out of the question. Time to go be a mom. At least I'm not in tears due to the pain, but it still hurts enough to hurry downstairs and load up on the meds again.

This time, gotta get kids ready for preschool and take New Nanny on some errands. I drop off the Twincesses, then drop Nanny off, and the Twinkies and I head out on our adventure for the morning. Chantings of "hamburger hamburger hamburger" fill the car. Really? It's 10:30!! Well OK, sure, hamburgers it is. The kids split a burger combo and I get a 3-piece chicken strip box from Carl's Junior. At 11:15, Nanny needs a ride to the bank so we wrap it up and grab her from her appointment just a block away.

Suddenly I felt nauseous... the meds, the chicken, the lack of sleep... it all was too much. I pulled over to "visit" a bush in a parking lot and step out of the car. As I did, my sore body screamed in pain and when I bent over to throw up, I pulled a muscle and practically hit the floor. Seriously, I just pulled a muscle in my BUTT. How does one do that??!??! I guess I am just "special", or something, to be able to pull that one off.

Off to grab the Twincesses, drop off Nanny and the Twinkies at home, take the Twincesses to a play date then come home at 3, exhausted beyond words. We also said goodbye to "old Nanny" that afternoon. She is on a plane to Holland in the morning. Lots of tears from my girls, and me. More toxins and emotions being dumped into the cesspool now known as "Tami."

I spent the rest of the day, literally unable to stand up straight. I yelped each time I sat down, stood up, walked or bent over. I was worthless. But I *was* drinking my water with vigor! (Mom is clapping now... and telling me to take my "greens").

Unfortunately, the damage was already done. I dumped too many toxins in my body by having that massage and NOT drinking my water. I added insult to injury by then having to take antibiotics to kick the kidney infection. I didn't take my greens fast enough. I realized late that night that I was on the verge of getting a cold. I ignored my mom's voice telling me to take another handful of greens and drink a ton of water, and instead stayed up working until 1:30. This was on less than 4 hours of sleep from the prior night, too.... I was lucky enough to get barely 4 more hours of sleep Wednesday night, and awoke Thursday with a full blown cold. That'll teach me. (Nope, probably not.)

Oh yeah... are you jealous of my 100-minute massage NOW?

A whole bunch of a lot of things...

2011-02-22T00:14:00.000-08:00

Update time!

I went to the gym today and my weigh in was 51.2 pounds down from surgery day! Yay me! I still feel guilty for losinng weight even when I do NOTHING to help my cause. I think I found the ice cream stash more than once this week - shhhhh! Don't tell!

My new Danish au pair totally rocks. She's been here for about 10 days so far and is proving to be a great match for our family! We had a blast celebrating a Danish holiday today. The girls dressed up in princess outfits, nanny as a witch, and me in my LA Kings hockey jersey (complete with black eyes and "missing teeth") - which is so not cool in the O.C.! We hit a barrel (pinata) with a cat (candy) inside and ate these incredible homemade buns with pudding and frosting. I really have no idea what it was all about but it is supposed to be similar to Halloween. Good times!

In fact, today I am guesting on nanny's laptop because mine decided today to not work anymore. It is realllllly weird typing with a Danish computer... the keyboard is full of those funny letters like the 'o' with a slash through it, the Æ letters and all that Scandinavian jazz. So if there is a typo, you will have to forgive me until I can edit this thing on a computer that speaks my language! Danish spell check thinks every word is wrong!! And, the screen is so tiny, that I can fit my entire palm on the screen and fill it up completely, so I can't even see what I am writing!

I like to follow other multiple mom's blog's and one multiples community blogsite featured me today! Check out my post at Multiples.... and More. Better yet, go send them some bloggy love too! I know I will, as soon as 1) I wake up, or 2) find an English computer that works, or 3) get to work ad hijack their laptop!

Have a great day, dear readers!!

My Valentine's Day

2011-02-15T08:50:00.000-08:00

My Valentine's Day started off just like any other random day: a kid-related wake up call at 2:30 AM. My husband, who is on a terrible (but lucrative) overtime assignment for the next two weeks), was up at 2:30 and heard my daughter (Twincess #2) wheezing and hacking in her sleep. He brought her to me, gave me a quick kiss, wished me a happy Valentine's Day, and told me #2 needed a breathing treatment. Greeaaaaat. So I'm up for an hour with a girl who I keep having to pulling off the ceiling because she's so amp'ed on albuterol! When we do fall asleep, snuggling together in my bed, my sleep is interrupted with her spotty breathing.

At 7, we all get up to face the day. Another breathing treatment for #2, breakfast, then off to school for the Twincesses, complete with Valentine's cards and pink rice krispie treats for the class, and then off to "Toddler Boot Camp" with the Twinados (whom I think I will renamed the Twinkies now that they don't leave a path of total destruction in their wake). At noon, I pick up the Twincesses to find a pink note from the teachers: "Don't bring your sick kids to school!" Gotta love their memory ... when I dropped of #2 I told them she had an asthma attack. No big deal, but yeah, the girl can't breathe and she's going to cough! If they didn't want her there, at that time was when you should say, why don't you take her home.... right?

Lunch, then another breathing treatment for #2, and then I called the doctor's office for an appointment. I told the operator she was having a pretty bad asthma attack and the home nebulizer treatments weren't working too well. The first appointment I could get was for 7:30 at night. Really? I got a text from the hubby, "horrible day at work, I feel terrible, love you!" Poor hubby - just a few more hours until he can come home. It's 1:30 and it's nap time for all (including me).

Hubby comes home at 4pm, exhausted from his day and just passes out cold. I felt terrible waking him up at 6:30 so I could take my pink Twincess to the doctor's appointment. We left at 6:35 to drive out a half hour to the urgent care center they sent us to (because the center 0.3 miles from my new home was closed at 5pm), where my daughter struggled to breathe until 8:45 when we were finally seen by the doctor. We got home at 10:45 and I finally managed to calm down #2, who was so whacked out on breathing meds that her poor little heart looked like it was trying to escape her body!

I climbed into bed at 11:30 and accidentally woke my husband who gave me a sleepy, almost obligatory kiss, and rolled over again, in anticipation of his 2:30am alarm.

It truly is love that will allow for a Valentine's Day like this. There was no hurt feelings for lack of exchange of cards, for seeing each other in person for all of 9 minutes for the entire day, no wonderful dinner (well, the kids and I had a great steak dinner during hubby's nap... since he doesn't eat beef!), no flowers, no candy or chocolate. Without true love, this could have been a day of bitterness and resentment. Instead I am grateful I was able to spend time with all of my kids during the day, and even more grateful for my husband and the great provider that he is. And, I did get to go out on a date... but it was to the hospital rather than a movie, and I had a kid with me instead of a spouse.

As for February 15? Well, apparently Groundhog's Day moved because it's been a repeat so far!

The funniest place you've ever nursed or changed a diaper!

2011-02-02T15:41:00.000-08:00

I was just visiting MomBloggersClub website and saw a title that tickled my fancy... I clicked on Granola Grizzly Mama's site to check out her latest post. First of all, I liked her name. Random thing about me... the vast majority of my new mom friends (i.e. friends I met while pregnant or BECAUSE I had kids) are the more naturalistic "crunchy" breastfeedin', natural-birthin' kind of mamas. And I am so not. But I think I would have been if my circumstances were different. I digress... The post was about the funnier or more unusual places Granola Grizzly Mama nursed her babies "on the go," so this is my take on it (which is pretty much like my response on her posting, but I added to it!) And, I just had to change the rules.

If I could recall all the places I've changed a diaper on the fly, that would be an impressive list. For the past 4 1/2 years, I have had at least 2 in diapers and for well over 1 year, I had 4 in diapers. No... my kids aren't still peeing themselves into the 3rd grade... I just had lots of kids in under 2 years. :-) I am the queen of changing twin toddler girls both in under a minute flat. It is possible, so long as it's just pee! So also note, when I am changing one diaper, chances are, my other 3 are strapped into the car, a stroller, all of them cloistered in one toilet stall, or out in public and told to hang onto my shirt with the fear of God put into them that if they let go, they will surely regret it.

So... I've changed diapers:

in a car (in the trunk, back seat chair, back seat floor, drivers and passenger seats and passenger floor, and with child standing on the tailgate)
at a park
at the mall
in grocery stores
at Disneyland (in line at a ride)
at the zoo (on the tram)
on the Queen Mary (out on the deck)
at the beach
at a concert (during a song, of course)
at church
on the ledge of a pool
on a bus bench
in a booth at a restaurant (yeah, I'm one of those moms but only if I am certain no one will notice what I am doing)
at a bar in a country club (did I mention I was one of those moms too?!)
on the set of Dexter, Two and a Half Men, Ghost Whisperer, and According to Jim (yep, studio exec's just love me for that... and Charlie Sheen may have been slightly annoyed)
I am sure the list can go on and on and on... but my memory is pathetic sometimes.

But the BEST one? Just happened this week. I was being questioned by the police and I changed the crappiest, nastiest diaper ever right in front of the cop with a gun and a clipboard. I mean, my poor kid had a nasty diaper and was whining about it, so was I going to make her sit in it for another hour? Nope, because that's the kind of mama I am.

Do I win? Or can you top that?!

Photos courtesy of Google Images

The plateau has been conquered!

2010-12-16T16:20:00.000-08:00

So my recent post about plateaus keeping me down? Not so much anymore. I busted through that bad boy finally... right at Thanksgiving, which is so random! And, I'm steadily losing weight again. About 1-2 pounds a week, without much on the exercise front. Again I wonder to myself how much weight I would have lost had I been pumpin' iron, running around the neighborhood or hittin' an eliptical machine!

I'm just too busy! I work out of the house twice a week where I am gone from the house 8-12 hours, and take care of 4 busy little girls, along with my nanny. When she is working, I am also working -- on my blog, for my clients, on household chores, paying bills, deep cleaning projects, art projects, little things ... like sending cards, buying gifts, etc., cooking, and occasionally taking a little nap. And today..., well today I got another job. Yeah, I know, I'm like that Jamaican Family from In Living Color back in the 90s who each had 7 jobs... yep, that's me. I'll post more on my new job later. I'm really really excited and you will certainly hear more about it.

Until then, I'm off to keep looking for my newest au pair, as dear Nanny is leaving us in just 8 short weeks!

Sinterklaas

2010-12-05T21:49:00.000-08:00

The Dutch have a Sinterklaas tradition that mirrors the American folklore of the breaded man in a red suit with his magical helpers and flying stabled animal friends. I spent a few minutes really thinking about their traditions, and I don't think its gonna fly as a mainstream thing over on this side of the pond. They are SO un-PC that to even mention some of these things in passing makes me lookout for possible retaliation! Yet, it is based on this holiday that our own Santa Claus tradition was born. I can see why we changed things up a bit! I'll break it down for you:

Sinterklaas is like Santa Claus. He wears a red suit. Traditionally, Sinterklaas is a normal sized person, rather than jolly and fat. His hat, however, reminds me of the Pope! Instead of 8 tiny reindeer, he has a grey horse named Amerigo. He has a helper... and this is where is gets hinky. His helper is called Zwarte Piet (Black Pete). He is an adolescent African slave who helps Sinterklaas deliver presents to good boys and girls. Nowadays, they claim Piet gets his color from sliding down the chimneys and getting all covered in soot (which is odd because his clothing is so vividly colorful!).

Black Piet is mischievous and often changes personalities... he's Cool Piet (dressed as Elvis in blackface), Professor Piet, Music Piet, Head Piet, Rhyme Piet, and many more. Currently, when Sinterklaas arrived in Amsterdam via a large boat, he has a cast of Pieten with him. The more the merrier, right?

Here's the real kicker.... if you have been naughty, instead of receiving coal in your stocking/shoe and no good presents, it's much much worse if you are Dutch. If you are slightly naughty, you can get a beating with a tree branch that Piet carries around with him, or if you are very very naughty, you will get tossed in Piet's bag and delivered to Spain where you will become a slave, too. I can imagine children in the Netherlands are exceptionally good in the late fall!

On December 5th, you put out your wooden shoes by the fireplace with a bowl of water and some carrots or hay (for the horse). When you awake, you have a gift in your shoe replacing the carrot, and often a large burlap sack is left behind with loads of gifts for the whole family (and the family typically would not do this again on the 25th for Christmas... it's an either-or type of holiday, with the Sinterklaas day being the chosen day for those with pre-teen children, and Christmas Day being celebrated by most teens and adults).

The presents that Sinterklaas and Piet bring you are usually chocolate (which is 50% of my nanny's daily diet every day of the year). Chocolate letters are the big thing. Move over hollow chocolate Santas... these solid chocolate letters rock!! ;-)

They also leave a variety of gingerbread cookies, butter cookies and various sweets. The Dutch people have a sweet tooth!

I am sure you are asking why I even know this stuff... well, my husband is Dutch (though he's 4th or 5th generation American with lots of other stuff mixed in over the years). Therefore my kids are maybe an 1/8th "pure" Dutch. And, our nanny who has been with us over 16 months now, is from Holland and introduced us to the holiday. So it's fun to have other traditions. The kids all think everyone else has the same traditions so having them tell their friends that the Piets came and gave them presents often leaves both parties very confused. Even their own Dutch grandfather! But then, most conversations 4 year olds have with one another often leaves people confused.

Therefore, for the 2nd year of many more to come, we put out our fake crocs with carrots, and woke up to jubilant children screaming that the Piets came while they were sleeping. This year, kids got Disney Christmas ornaments in their shoes, and in the sack left by Piet, the family got chocolate letters (there goes that 5 pounds I lost last week...!), and the kids got fake Ugg boots, and Sinterklaas and Piet backpacks.

And all was right in their world.

photo credit: Wikipedia

Plateaus and Periods

2010-12-02T13:19:00.000-08:00

Gosh, diet plateaus sure stink. (Content was edited... I really feel much stronger about that opinion!)

Periods are no picnic either. (Again, I could write a novel on that topic too!)

Put them both together and this is a recipe for diet disaster which includes a trifecta of depression, brownies, and lethargy. Makes me kinda want to pull my hair out.

I had reached my first goal by October and it is typically where your body does some quick math and realizes that you've just lost 10-15% of your body weight and simply puts the breaks on. I didn't realize that and just got discouraged. Watching the scale hover around the "you're still waaaaaay fat" zone for what seemed to be eons was really disenchanting. I was eating normally (err... normal for a normal person, not someone wanting to lose 150 more pounds by 12-31-11). I wasn't exercising that much -- my kids were all sick, followed by husband getting sick (no weekend daddy day care!), then... me. Great. So that's like 10 days of no workout. It's the holidays (Halloween to Thanksgiving) and we fatties all do what we do best for holidays --- we eat, drink and be merry!

Plus, the last three months of the year have played mind games with me for most of this decade!!

At the end of 2002, I was in the middle of a 3-month run of Weight Watchers. My friend and I were faithful to the program -- she wanted to lose weight before becoming pregnant, and I wanted to lose weight for my 2003 wedding. Unfortunately, even though I deprived myself throughout the holidays and kept to the program, I ended up gaining 4 pounds by February while my friend lost 25! OK, so that diet system didn't work!
Turkey Day/xmas 2003, I had miserably long weekends with a newly acquired relative. Joy. I probably packed on 10-20 pounds that season!
Turkey Day 2004, I found out I was pregnant just the day before but in the same sentence was told I was probably not going to be pregnant by the end of the week. So I had the joy of suffering a silent miscarriage while trying to have a happy face for the new in-laws. I was super hormonal, a mental basketcase, and probably borderline psychotic, which all came out after they finally left. While I most likely didn't gain that month, I probably stuffed face in December, so consider that year a "wash" by the end!
Turkey Day 2005, I was "probably" pregnant (and after that weekend, was confirmed that yes, I was). I was on pins and needles waiting for test results to be positive. But, by Christmas I was vomiting each time anyone mentioned food, so that was a great weight loss year!
Turkey Day 2006, I had 2 beautiful infants and we probably ate happily! I know that between Setpember 2006 and May 2007, I had gained back 20 pounds after the baby weight loss, so some of that can be attributed to the holidays and the other can be factored in because I was no longer diabetic and wanted to make up for that lost 8 months of hell.
Turkey Day 2007, pregnant and vomiting again... decent weight loss season.
Turkey Day 2008, now 4 children by my side, happy family, and lots of food! Packed on the lbs for sure.
Turkey Day 2009, repeat!
And Turkey Day 2010...

Well, the great news, is that I wasn't gaining any weight. That's awesome. I know that without the lapband, that I would have certainly added a few lbs each week! And, my optimistic outlook on life told me that, hey... you'd still weigh what you did this summer and more if it weren't for the help oBand Surgery Centers gave you, so shut the heck up and be happy with the weight you did lose. It's not like I wouldn't lose more weight in the future (because I will!), but it was that I wasn't going to lose it quite as fast as I had in the beginning. That's all. But tell that to a hormonal stress ball and it doesn't sink in ~~very well~~ at all.

My last weigh in was the day before Turkey Day and it was again stagnent (OK, well it had gone down a few more ounces to where my weight loss ticker finally registered a full pound since Halloween, yay). So today, now that my cold is wrapping up, my period stopped, Turkey Day and all the associated goodies are long gone, Christmas cheer has yet to begin (parties start next week!), and I had 15 spare minutes during daylight/nanny hours, I ran to the gym to weigh in, 8 days after my last weigh in. And I was not expecting greatness, that's for sure.

But, holy guacamole, Batman!!! I was down 5 pounds. Just like that. We just outlined how I don't lose weight over Thanksgiving weekend unless I'm newly knocked up! And I can promise you I'm so not pregnant right now. So, how did I lose 5 pounds over THANKSGIVING WEEKEND?

I can tell you. Thankfully, I knew that pesky ol' lapband was there, so for the two complete turkey dinners I sat down in front of, I only had one plateful of food. And it was not a typically overladdened Thanksgiving Dinner plate either. I could see lots of white underneath. I had about two strips of turkey meat, about a half cup potatoes (I love potatoes!), small helpings of the assorted veggies, a salad, and a 1 small bread roll (which was made from 1/4th of a Pillsbury refridgerated biscuit). I nibbed on the apple & caramel dip appetizer and had a few of the shrimp cocktails before dinner, and for dessert I had a small piece of pumpkin pie with whipped cream and ice cream. So I certainly wasn't deprived of food at all. I just ate slowly, chewed extra well, and enjoyed the time with my family.

And, I enjoyed the leftovers. Lapband patients are strongly advised to avoid breads, in fact many people just can't eat bread when they are in weight loss mode because the bread fills them up and won't allow the real food (protein) to get through. But, I thought that I would try a homemade leftover turkey sandwich anyway. I ate three of them.... bread and all.... over the long weekend. I just ate EXTRA slow and chewed EXTRA well, and it went down just fine! I was very pleased.

I also stopped tracking my food intake. I know, that sounds counter-productive. But, with all the obsession about tracking my food consumption, it was like I was sabotaging my own efforts! During the time I did track it, I found a few high calorie snacks that I knew I needed to eliminate and did, so that was helpful to spot the patterns and learn to substitute naughtiness or flatout avoid them altogether. Another thing I did, which is also a big no-no, is have a handful of Starbucks peppermint hot chocolates. I wonder if the milk intake did something to help me get over the plateau. Maybe not, but damn, they were good.

But whatever it was I did, or didn't do, over this past week, I am happy that the plateau has been kicked in the face and my body is ready to shed more weight. I might actually make that goal of losing 50 pounds before the end of the year. Only 9 to go. Not unreasonable by itself... but it is December. Again, I will be positive...and if I only lose 46 pounds for example, it will still be 46 pounds less than what I weighed this summer.

Which, is freakin' awesome!

Photos courtesy of Google Images

Motivation... or lack thereof

2010-11-28T23:38:00.000-08:00

Why can I not get motivated to exercise? Seriously! It's like every time I go to the gym and have a great work out, and look forward to going tomorrow... that when it is finally tomorrow, I totally lack the motivation to have a repeat performance. Why? Let me tell you!

1. I'll get hurt. So the day before, as I am rocking the tricep machine and feel like that I can go for hours. But I know better... I cap it at a reasonable "starting" workout. I leave the gym feeling great and pumped to go back the next day. I wake up sore, or worse, I throw out my back or neck, and am totally disabled for the day.

2. I'll get busy. My day starts at 6:30 when the early waker tugs at my blankets and there is no sending her back to bed. Time to fix kids breakfast, clean the kitchen while they eat, get the kids dressed and check work email. I'm usually on my own until the nanny comes in at 8 or 9 (though on a rare awesome day, she starts at 7 and the kids sleep past 7... and I get up at 9!). I take my oldest to preschool or we take all the girls out to a play date or the store, etc. At 12, we're all home and while the nanny gets the kids lunch, I'm showering for my day at work. I leave at 1 and get home around 8:30. I could go to the gym - it closes at 10, after all. Or I can go home and kiss my kids goodnight instead. They win each time. And of course, I'm not going out after that because I still might be able to spend an hour or so with my husband before he goes off to bed and I assume my position on the couch (or, tsk tsk, clean the kitchen because it got trashed from when I cleaned it that morning). But, I only work 2-3 days a week so the likelihood of my job getting in the way of my success is certainly not at fault.

3. I'll get lazy. So the day before, as I am rocking the treadmill and feel like that I can go for hours. I leave the gym feeling great and pumped to go back the next day. Sometime in the middle of the night during my sleep, that hunger turns off. I wake up the day and just don't care... don't care that the day before I literally saw 1 pound drop off my body during the 30 minutes before and after my workout. Don't care that I am failing miserably at my goal of losing more than 50 pounds before year end. WHY? Why am I sabbotaging my progress?

Everytime I work out at least 2 days per week, I drop 1-2 pounds per week or more. Everytime I don't... I don't lose weight. Even though I've spent most of November tracking my eating, I come in under calorie goal regularly and their daily ticker tells me, "If you keep eating like this, you will weight XXX in 5 weeks. Well, that XXX ranges from 15-25 pounds less than my current weight depending on whether my day was a success or failure. So, it's been about 3 weeks and according to the website, I'd be down 8 pounds at the very least, right? Nope.

I know I'm a "special case" with my jacked up hormones. I wonder if I am destined to have a 800-1000 caleroie day diet AND get at least a half hour of exercise a day for the rest of my life! This will be a slow process, but I *will* eventually get to a normal weight. It will only speed up with added exercise because damn, do I love to eat.

Well, let's see how I do next month.

Cuteness!

2010-11-16T17:59:00.000-08:00

Beautiful. Adorable. Happy. Loving. Cheeky.

All words to describe my kids during a photo shoot we took as a family a few weeks ago. I couldn't even wait until tomorrow (a typical Wordless Wednesday, which I've never even done before.... so why start now, right?) to post these photos for the world to see.

Are you ready for supreme cuteness?

And supreme silly loving cuteness...

And sassy goofy party time!

I love my girls!!!!!

Photo Credit: Tracey Meyer Photography (http://www.traceymeyerphotography.com/) 714-985-1914

Ugh.

2010-11-15T00:02:00.000-08:00

I started tracking my diet and exercise with an online site (http://www.myfitnessplan.com/). Wow, epic fail on my part!!! Well, not that it's a fail that I use the site, but a fail that I have totally blown out my goals! But maybe its because I never really established goals to begin with. All my life, I have avoided goals because I really don't want to be reminded when I come in at 80% of them. Anything short of 100% is failure, right?

Anyway, new goals are:
Food = 1,600 calories
Exercise = 30 minutes walking daily (I really need a dog!) and 30 minutes resistance training on the gym machines 4x week.

I want to start doing sit-ups/crunches too. However, each time I try, I end up throwing out my back within a few days. Must start slow... 5 of them, then increase by 5 every three days or something like that. I just get bored and forget to follow up by a week into a new routine!

I chose 1,600 calories a day because that's about the bottom level of the food I've consumed in the past week.

11-9............... 1,640 calories, 2 hours of walking (yay for Disneyland!!!)

11-10............. 2,311 calories

11-11............. 1,927calories

11-12............. 1,441 calories

11-13............. 1,817 calories

11-14............. 1,622 calories

Of the most highly caloric food I've eaten, the homemade macadamia nut white chocolate chip cookies I *had* to buy from my kids' preschool (which thankfully are gone as of tonight) and tortilla chips and salsa are my evil evil evil snacks. They represent 400-600 calories I don't need. How rad would it be if I could keep my intake at 1,000 calories and actually exrcise every now and then!

So while I may have failed all over the place and back this week, at least I have idenitied the culprits that I didn't think mattered much in the grand scheme of things. But, yeah, they do.

Gym tomorrow AM for SURE! Then Disneyland for my 2 hours of walking.

Is there any way to hide this post?? Really, I sound pathetic.

Photo credit: Google Images

Accountability

2010-11-08T22:21:00.000-08:00

Webster’s defines accountability as: the quality or state of being accountable; especially : an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions .

When you “diet,” do you tell everyone that you are on a diet? Does it bother you when people constantly ask how you are doing and if you are losing weight, especially when you are not? And does it bother you when people say things like, “Well, you shouldn’t have that on your diet, right?!” or “shouldn’t you go to the gym more than twice a month?”

Or do you diet silently, not telling anyone, in hopes that if you fail, no one will give you any grief about it. So that no one bothers you about the fact that you’ve been paying for a gym membership for over 4 months without actually having gone inside?

I used to be a quiet dieter, keeping it to myself so no one will be let in on my latest failed venture. I was never accountable to anyone. What did my cat care if I lost 10 pounds or gained 15?

Now. Now I am accountable to my family. I am putting them first this time, because I need to get into a zone on the obesity scale that isn’t screaming red. For them. Because I want to be here on this earth, able to participate, now and in the future.

I am accountable to myself. I didn’t realize how little I thought of myself, before. I didn’t really care if I succeeded. What difference did it make? Once you weigh this much, what’s 20 pounds either way, right? Now, I jumped into this diet, this lifestyle change, with both feet and I cannot look back.

I am accountable to everyone I let in on the secret. I told people that I am going to lose a lot of weight. Whether it takes me 9 months or 2 years, I will lose a significant amount of weight.

I am accountable to everyone who reads this blog. So accountable in fact, that I put a weight ticker on the right hand column of my blog! I am aiming to update the weight loss ticker once a week for sure, or twice a week if I am super successful!

I am accountable to about 5 million people, by my last count. I put my story on my blog, on the website of a company where I work, and on the air-waves at a radio station!! Who does that?! I told millions of listeners that I was losing weight and they can too.

So now I am accountable to everyone else’s weight loss plan, too! OK, not really. But I am accountable to those who did what I did, at the place I used – the oBand Surgery Center. And I want to be! I want to be there to support anyone following my lead. Because we’re in this together.

I’ve already been responsible for gaining an extra 200 pounds. I’d like to be responsible for losing it too. And losing YOUR extra 60 pounds. And HIS extra 120 pounds. And HER 80 pounds.

How can I support YOUR weight loss plans? I’m finally ready.

Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/accountability

Photo credit:

Week 8 thru 12 - Life as a Post-Op Bariatric Patient

2010-11-04T11:17:00.000-07:00

Read me first, if you are new to my weight loss blog!
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5-7

Week 8 - 12
So as many of you know, October at my house is non-stop activity. I had maybe 4 days where I could get to the gym if I wanted to... but had NO energy or nmotivation to do so. I know, I know... some of you might be thinking "girlfriend has time to go to Disneyland 5 times that month, she couldn't bust her butt to work out a bit? Gym's open til 10 ya know..." Well, that's where "being human" comes into play. Being human, I am prone to mistakes. Mistakes such as "well, I suppose ~~1 piece~~ 10 pieces of candy won't hurt" or "finally, a day of rest... I think I will!" Mistakes like getting OUT of the habit of going to the gym frequently. Mistakes like thinking that I should test my boundaries and eat as much as I can knowing the LapBand will stop me when I am full. FAIL. The LapBand is a tool, like Weight Watchers, let's say. Weight Watchers gives you guidelines and rules and tools to use to help you lose weight. But it's up to you to actually do the program correctly. Same with the Lap Band. You CAN fail if you put your mind to it. You can overeat and stretch out the top of your stomach like you willingly did to the bottom of your stomach. You can eat ice cream and consider that a liquid, like water, therefore you are still hungry for real food. You can not exercise and watch your weight loss go from 20 pounds lost per month to maybe 5 pounds per month.

So, imagine my whole month - 5 weeks of not going to the gym, eating chocolate and halloween candy, and going to how many birthday parties with cake, and even throwing one of my own, complete with ME cooking a cake, cupcakes, cream cheese dips, artichoke dips, chips and dips... oh my! What did that do to me? Especially since I did NOT get a band tightening during week 10 like I probably should have. The doc was on the fence... he would have tightened it if I asked, but I was having a problem keeping foods down (turns out it was my chewing issue, not necessarily what I was eating because it was all good healthy stuff) so I elected to go without the tightening. Besides, I knew that I was having a party in 48 hours and the first 48 hours after a tightening is rather restricting .... liquids only!

So after almost a month of not seeing the inside of the gym, I went yesterday for a weigh-in. Well the great news is that I hit my post-partum weight low from Fall of 2006. I'm actually rather excited about it because my friends all commented that I looked great after the baby weight fell off because I had essentially dropped 105 pounds (60 of me, 45 of baby even though I gained those 45 during losing the 60... it's weird math, sorry)! Anyway, now at the end of 12 weeks post-op, it's a total of 35 pounds lost but since my last blog post in mid-september, meaning I lost those 7 pounds in September after my tighening, then stayed flat for October. I'm excited because even after all the crap I ate, I didn't gain anything! Averaging the 35 pounds over the 12 weeks, that's 3 pounds a week, which is pretty awesome for a diet and/or lifestyle change, right?!

I'm still so happy my "tool" (aka LapBand from the oBand Surgery Center) is still working for me regardless of whether or not I help it work or follow the rules. I'm going to "work it" in November and lose 10 pounds. Really! I'm going to, darn it! I'm also going to start blogging my diet. It will hold me accountable for my food consumption. I don't want to have to admit eating a bag of chips and cheese dip!! But I'll start tomorrow.

photo credit: google images

You got all this candy… Now What?

2010-10-30T15:56:00.000-07:00

Let’s face it: Halloween candy is totally unnecessary for the human body to consume.

Humans do not need the massive quantities of refined sugar, fat, preservatives, and questionable filler that make up most of the candy passed out on Halloween by your neighbors, shopkeepers, and friendly strangers whom you encounter. Does anyone really need 20 Snickers, 14 Milky Ways, 55 tootsie rolls and pops, stale bubble gum and other impossibly sticky things that make Dentists both cringe and get excited for the overwhelming number of November 1st phone calls at the same time?! No, we don’t.

Does that mean I’ve never touched a delicious King Size Butterfinger bar or dug into a Milky Way Dark Mini before? That would be no… I’ve had my fair share as a child, as a teenager, and now as an adult, because we have to give it out to total strangers who knock on our door on the 31st, right??! It would be downright criminal to turn off the lights and hide in a back room somewhere because we didn’t want to answer the many calls of social pressure that occur between dusk and the late evening on Pumpkin Day!

Besides, do we really need to send our children out into the night, dressed up in all things from princesses to superheroes to creepy crawly things or undead monsters we don’t want to run into in a dark alley somewhere, all the while begging total strangers for treats with the unspoken promise that they won’t in turn smash their pumpkins, egg their front door, or cause other illegal forms of mischief and mayhem?? Again, no. But it sure is fun!!

So now that the night is over, and your kids have gone trick or treating on no fewer than 3 different days at 5 different venues, they have amassed a gianormous fortune in hard candy and chocolate. What do you do with it all? What will keep you from having to put 2 pieces of poison in your kids’ lunches every day until next Halloween?

Well, because you are a responsible parent, you’ll first check the stash for obvious hazards to your child’s health: remove gum and hard candies for kids under 5; candies containing peanuts, chocolate, and/or dairy for kids, like one of mine, with allergies to certain foods; and the occasional caramel apple with hidden razor blades (do they still do that anymore, or was that just an 80’s thing?!) But, by your count, there is still 372 pieces of candy remaining for each kid and that means if you spread it out, each kid will have 4 pieces of spastic hyper-inducing junk to eat each day until February 2nd. Oh, good times.

Getting rid of it all… here are a few stellar choices!

Hard candies you’ve removed from the younger kids stash. Easy – give ‘em to grandma. Hard candies are such a favorite with the older crowd (like over 60… why? I don’t know. It just is.). Grandmothers have stashes of hard candy in baggies in their purses for centuries to hand out to bored kids in church, family dinners, or doctor’s offices. I see them sneak a few themselves, so chances of your kids seeing that hard candy again is about 1:10. I can deal with those odds.

Snickers bars and all other peanut containing offenders. Another easy one – send them to the office. Send hubby with a nice sized stash to give to the receptionist. She always has a bowl out for guests and if he is lucky, he’ll be the recipient of a few of those bars too! Take a bigger bag to your office, that way you can sneak a few without the kids around to be assaulted by your peanut breath. Besides, if you are going to consume the calories, it might as well be something good!

Caramel apples and other homemade treats? Unless you personally know the generous person who took the time to make special treats for the kids in the neighborhood, you’ll need to toss them. I don’t know if police stations still “x-ray” candy for these things or if that was an urban myth from back in the day and I just never got the memo that it’s a parental joke.

Now the rest of the stash. It’s all for your kid(s). Do you drag it out, doling out candy for treats, bribes, or sack lunches? Do you get it all over with in a short period of time? Do you give it away? Either way, you will have a hyper kid or a sad kid, if they are old enough to remember how much they had at one point.

Young children: Out of sight, out of mind! The stash could be cut in half each night and by next Sunday, it could be totally forgotten! I know that my kids forgot about their candy by November 3rd even though my husband and I enjoyed it for another few weeks!

Another good thing about younger children is that they are often done trick-or-treating for the night by their 7:30 or 8 bedtime. This is good news if you have people ringing your bell as late as 9 PM .. just give your kids’ rejected candy back to those kids!! That is, if you can pry it from their little paws as they sleep with their plastic Halloween pumpkin tightly clasped to their bodies. Do you know how strong 2 yr olds are??

Older children: Have them choose their top 10 or 20 pieces and set it aside. Then appeal to their philanthropic nature. Donate the rest of candy to a church, a school (not your kids’ school!), youth group, or to a charity. (I do not recommend giving the candy to children in hospitals. Sugar is terrible for the immune system and in fact will make them worse if they have an immunosuppressant issue.) I googled “Halloween candy for soldiers” and found Operation Gratitude, which collects candy and send them oversees to our troops. Soldiers use the candy to hand out to children they come across, or get their own sugar fix if needed. I wouldn’t deny either group that! Another group of dentists will buy back your candy at a $1 a pound and they also donate the candy to troops through Operation Gratitude so your kids can earn a buck or two in the process.

Throw them away! There’s a free option that doesn’t take any effort on your part, other than the will power needed to keep yourself out of the trash before the garbage is collected!

Have a candy-eating party. Yes, you heard me correctly. Let them go nuts one day. Let me tell you what my mother did when I was a kid. My first memory of this day was when I was 9 and my brother just turned 6. On Halloween night, we could eat a few pieces, then for each day afterwards she would put 2 pieces in our lunch for school… until Saturday, that is. [This meant, of course that a Saturday- or Sunday-based Halloween Day was the optimal day giving us a full week to be “just like all the other kids whose mom packed them candy with their lunch”, whereas a Thursday or Friday Halloween was a total bummer because the holiday is over that much quicker.] The first Saturday after Halloween was even better than Christmas at our house. My mom’s reasoning behind Candy Saturday was simple (and magical!) – we’d go nuts on Saturday, be sick on Sunday, and be OK to go to school on Monday. Plus, back in her day, mom was a dental assistant so she knew the affects of sugar on children’s teeth, and she figured multiple exposures of a few pieces a day over the course of 2-3 months was WAY worse than a one-day sugar free-for-all pigfest.

We would excitedly wake up at the crack of dawn Saturday morning, and mom would prepare us a healthy breakfast with eggs, fresh squeezed orange juice, milk, and other protein-full items. Then, at 9AM, she would take us to the living room and flip on the TV. My brother and I would sit at opposite ends of the room and she would dump the candy out of our plastic orange pumpkins onto the floor all around us (we are talking MOUNTAINS of candy here, people!) and say “enjoy!”

We watched cartoons and ate candy from 9 AM until bedtime. (Occasionally when the sugar built up in our systems too high, we were told to go outside and run for 20 minutes to burn it off. There was a lot of screaming and giggling. Bartering and trading. Making sure we ate the same piece of candy at the same time. Candy Day was a magical day… my bro and I got along FAMOUSLY that day!! At the end of the day, we brushed our teeth for about 10 minutes before bed, and passed out in a sugar coma.

From that day forward, there was no candy until Valentine’s Day and Easter. For those holidays, there was such little candy that we were just encouraged to make it disappear quickly to save those precious teeth. I guess this plan worked. I did not have a single cavity until I turned 19.

I also think my mom’s idea was to turn us off of candy forever by being so sick due to the candy overload, that we would never touch it again. Unfortunately, that theory didn’t work then, and it didn’t work when I got a job behind an ice cream counter for 4 years either… I still love the stuff!

Whatever way you choose to get rid of the candy, I hope you and your family enjoy the day tremendously! Now that my children are getting older and will remember their precious Devil's Nite bounty, I might have a candy eating party Saturday and invite some other kids over too. Why not let 10 kids all freak out and go crazy in my backyard, while hanging out with a couple of cool moms? (...sipping mojitos, and having our own party!)

Do you have any other ideas on how to escape prolonged candy eating at your house?

photo credit: thismomcooks.com, happyhourmom.com, realsimple.com, www.parentsconnect.com

My October

2010-10-19T22:32:00.000-07:00

October is always a super busy month for me. Like, really busy. So busy, in fact, that I've had a heck of a time trying to get to the gym this month and most likely won't go more than a handful of times the entire calendar month! I really want to... but it's just not gonna happen. Blogging? I haven't even averaged once a week this month. Here's why:

October 1: I ran errands all morning (my week was super busy and my nanny was sick, so I lost my errand time and gym the day before and this day), and went to work for the afternoon. I returned home after 11 pm.

October 2-3: The weekend. Yes, I could have gone and left the kids under hubby's watch, but we had the only relaxing weekend we were going to have this month. Fail on my part.

October 4: Took the Twincesses to school in the AM, then hit the gym and the mall that afternoon. (Score!)

October 5: Took all 4 kiddos to my MOPS (Mothers Of PreSchoolers) class in the morning. I lost my keys and spent 75 minutes, dragging 4 hungry, tired kids all over the church campus trying to find out who found them and where they got turned into. Cranky kids all got Burger King for lunch then we ALL took a nap. We woke up and went to Disneyland when Daddy got home from work. (yeah, tough life, I know.)

October 6: Took Purple Twincess to school and the other 3 shopping in the morning, then worked all afternoon. Got home at 9 pm.

October 7: Well, my errand/gym day got shot to hell and I ended up spending the entire day in the E.R. with Purple Twinado. She had a high fever, vomiting and screaming in pain every 20 minutes or so. After 7 hours, she pooped and all was fine in the world. (T.M.I.?)

October 8: Morning Dentist appt for yet another crown. Except, halfway through, I got sick and had to go home. Napped for 3 hours and suffered for the rest of the afternoon/evening. Took the Twincesses to a movie at the local elementary school that a church was hosting. (I hope we didn't spread "flu" everywhere!)

October 9-10: I was supposed to go to the Go Fest concert (featuring Rascal Flatts) and share the oBand Center's lapband services to the attendees by hanging out at a booth at the Festival. But, the show was postponed due to band illness. It was a good thing, I guess because my three other kids all had fevers all weekend. Turns out, I got another relaxing weekend out of it, huh? But can one really relax when all the kids are cranky, feverish, and stuck indoors? Oh yeah, and it turns out that hubby decided to pull all the boxes (like 60+!!!) we had stored in our garage and brought them all into the house for me to sort through. Really, hubby? All I asked for was my 4 Halloween Deco boxes and any boxes marked "skinny clothes." Did I mention I was having a party next week?

October 11: I took the Twincesses to school, then went to work all day while hubby stayed home and watched the kiddos. County workers get all the cool non-holidays off work! But as I was coming home at 5, I got a text that said Pink Twincess was throwing up all afternoon and to hurry please. Oh great... There went my night.

October 12: Hubby took the day off to take the family to Disneyland. Well, except Pink Twincess, still very feverish, couldn't go. We left her home for "special time" with the nanny and we went anyway. We got home with plenty of time left, but my feet hurt so dang bad that there was just no way I could work out. (D'oh!)

October 13: Took Purple Twincess to school, left the other 3 with the nanny and went party shopping in the morning, then worked all afternoon. Got home at 9 pm.

October 14: Cleaned my house, decorated all Halloweeny, then headed to Tustin to visit with ~~Dr. Evil~~ Dr. Naim at the oBand Center. He gave me a quick check and told me we could get the lapband tightened again..., or not. I wanted to get it tightened again to speed up my weight loss... I really did... but I was still having trouble processing some of the foods I was eating, so I opted not to. I really just needed to chew my food much more before swallowing, but I think my problem is that I wolf down the first bite, then chew well for the rest of the meal. Therefore, I feel terrible even though I ate a good portion of protein and chewed the food well. That first bite will get stuck and everything else gets clogged in the system. It's a processing issue with my BRAIN, not my stomach. I will get used to this!!

October 15: Spent the ENTIRE day prepping treats and cleaning the house. I made "graveyard" cupcakes (chocolate cupcakes, crumbled Oreo cookie crumbs, and a tombstone made out of half a Milano cookie, with "RIP" icing), "witch hats" (a chocolate striped shortbread circular flat cookie with fudge on the bottom, flipped over, with a Hershey's kiss on top), and all sorts of other goodies, like candy apple dip, artichoke dip, french onion dip, ranch dip and more. I put out the fog machine, black lights, arranged the tables, and just had a great time. I did find the time to step out and get a facial AT THE GYM. So nice. I did 10 minutes on the tread mill just to get the heart pumping, but the relaxing facial was what I needed to survive the weekend I had planned.

October 16: Party day! I decorated, cleaned and cooked all morning. I took special care setting up the bar and putting up the "Over The Hill" decorations I got for my hubby's 40th. Then I got a genius idea and took my nanny and the kids and dropped them off at the McDonald's play area at 11 AM, and picked them up at 1. It was the best $12 I ever spent and the kids had a GREAT day. And they all passed out cold when we got home! After their nap, I realized that having the family around while I was trying to get ready was hampering my ability to rock it, so at 5pm, I again loaded everyone up in the minivan and dumped my brood off at the cheap theatre down the road. Another $12 got 5 people in to see an animated flick, and I got 2 more hours of peace. When I returned, the DJ showed up, I put out the cold food, heated up the warm foods, and got more excited every time the doorbell rang! I got to party and dance all night - good times! Well, for us, not necessarily for the neighbors.

October 17: Recovery Day... for a few hours. Then I headed to the rescheduled Go Fest at 1pm. Even though my ~~partner in crime~~ Joe was sick, and the booth we were to promote got sidelined, I stayed for the show and got home at midnight. Kinda didn't make it to the gym. Oops.

October 18: My mom's birthday, and the day she finally returned from another 3+ week trip abroad in the Caribbean and Central America. Third this year, I might mention. (Jealous much? Nahhh.) I took the Twincesses to school, then headed the hour to mom's house for a Birthday lunch. It was nice to catch up with her - I really missed her! Then, I got a root canal. (Pure joy!) While I arrived home by 5, I wasn't necessarily in the mood for working out... so no go.

October 19: Today I went to MOPS again, then the Twincesses were scheduled for their 4 yr old check up and shots. Poor little ones... they cried for 30 minutes after their inoculations. I had free tix to see a kiddie movie and met up with friends for an afternoon matinee. During the show, Pink Twincess had to use the bathroom, so we left for a bit. While there, I felt a nerve in my shoulder get pinched and that's it... I'm down for the next 3 days.

Not that I have the time anyway... here's a forecast of the rest of my month:

October 20: Hubby's 40th! I'll take the Purple Twincess to school, and go grocery shopping with the other 3 and bake a cake. I have a client meeting in the afternoon, and will rush home to take the family out to dinner for hubby's special day. Then hopefully, he and I can escape for the evening to see an adult movie... like one that isn't animated or star 4 legged creatures.

October 21: You guessed it... Disneyland again. This time to celebrate Daddy's big day. After walking MILES at that place, I don't need to go to the gym. Nor will I be able to walk without pain for the next 4 days anyway.

October 22: I'll head to work all day, then go to my old high school for their Homecoming Game and a mini-gathering of my Class of '90 friends. It's an hour from home, so I'll return after midnight. It's also my sis-in-law's birthday that day.

October 23: Heading BACK to my old hometown for a party for one of my friend's kids for the morning/afternoon, and taking the Twincesses. Racing home as fast as I can, then heading to the airport to pick up my Nanny's friend from Holland, who will be staying with us for the week. That night, hubby and I will hang out with his best friend and do a "Zombie Pub Crawl". I don't know what that's all about, other than we'll look n act like Zombies and go bar hopping. Yay, another fun thing we can't afford to do.

October 24: Heading back again to my old hometown for not one kid party, but two kid parties. One from 11-1 for a 7 yr old at Chuck E. Cheese's, and one for a 1 yr old girl, from 1-4. This time I am only taking one of the Twinados (Purple girl, because she's a snuggler and easiest to physically control at the pizza place, as well as being the quietest, easiest one to keep subdued at a toddler's party). Hopefully she'll nap in the car both way, so that she won't be super cranky that night. It's also my nephew's birthday that day!

October 25: Taking the Twincesses to school, then spending all day at home with the kids, since the nanny is off work this week. If hubby is OK watching them over dinner, I'll run out for some exercise. Maybe.

October 26: Taking my mom and all the kids to a Pumpkin Patch with my MOPS group in the morning, then taking Pink Twincess (she who got to stay home from Disneyland on the 12th) to the Happiest Place on Earth for the rest of the day, with another mom and girl from her school, while my mom stays home with the rest of my girls. That should get me out of gym duty PLUS my feet will be complaining a lot. Thankfully, new mom friend is pregnant and probably won't be up for walking super fast!

October 27: Taking the Twincesses to school for their Halloween party, then heading to work for the rest of the day - I'll be home between 9 -10.

October 28: Taking all the girls back to Disneyland with my Far Away Friend Who Just Moved Back Home, and her family. My hubby will most likely meet up with us after work. My dogs will be barking, big time.

October 29: Sans nanny; staying home with the kids all day. Maybe I'll take them all to the gym in the morning and take advantage of the $10 onsite babysitting! Of course, if my feet are so sore that I can't walk, I'll take a pass.

October 30: Sans nanny, so I need to sweeten up Daddy so I can escape without kids and hit the gym. We'll see. Got a sitter for the night, so we're headed back up to the old barrio for a good ole Halloween party with the gang.

October 31: Maybe gym in the AM? We're dropping off Nanny's friend at the airport in the afternoon during nap time. Then, its Trick or Treat time! Fun fun fun!

I will post a TON of pictures later this month. Probably next week sometime during nap time on a nanny-less day.

I also just took a look at November's calendar. Other than 6 days of Twincess classes, 2 MOPS classes, 7 days that I go to work and 3 Turkey Days in a row with the families... there is NOTHING on my calendar. No plans. Lots of nanny time. I will have NO EXCUSE to NOT hit the gym at least 4 times a week next month. That should put me in a great place, with a rev'ed up metabolism so I can indulge just a tad on my Turkey Days without a blip on my weight loss plan. I'm down a total of 35 pounds since August 13th, the day that the oBand Center turned my steady weight increase to a steady weight decrease! I'm kinda good with that, but I know if I had exercise, it may have been 45 pounds! That will be my goal for the end of November -- 45 pounds down.

Someone hold me to that promise, OK?

Where I'm From

2010-10-09T00:11:00.000-07:00

I stumbled upon a post by a fellow blogger, On the Rocks and Straight Up. Her prelude was: This was written for this week's writing meme at the Red Dress club. The prompt was kind of a Mad-Libs fill in the blank poem called "Where I'm from." Where I'm From template.
Following the e-trails, I discovered the original post (or at least, what I think is the original post.... but who knows these days!) providing the

This is my take on it. Enjoy.

I am from Sunday school and hand-picked cherries, from Betty Crocker and Sunset Magazine.

I am from the house on top of the hill overlooking the valley where I would later play, from those who drive cars pulling a boat with windows rolled down and cigarette smoke billowing from the driver’s side window, from the warm kitchen humming with activity while ensuring home-made goodness for all who gather at its table.

I am from the purple Agapantha, the Dutch Iris and the Alstroemeria, and from the patchy grass covering the rest of the yard untouched by abundant fruit trees or lush rose bushes.

I am from desert lake vacations and Yosemite mountain retreats, and forever sitting on the side of blazing freeways in lawn chairs waiting for the Auto Club. I am from the lanky, lean Imus's and the obstinate Seitz's, and from the long line of Adams which produced many judges and lawyers and two of our country’s ruling fathers.

I am from non-dysfunction and ordinary, from common sense and passivity.

From “if you get yourself pregnant, you will be kicked out of the house before you can blink” and “if she goes, I’ll go with her”.

I am from a God who loves us as a father loves his child, from a passed plate of tiny saltines and grape juice. From a large village who takes care of their families, and sacrificing in order to do so. From a brick sanctuary with memories of childhood musicals.

I'm from a sunny southern metropolis, land of the foothills and waves, from oranges and casseroles.

From the great-grandmother who had the bravery to divorce her spouse back when divorce just didn’t happen, from the grandmother who was so sick while carrying her third child that but for God’s grace my mother may never have been born, and from the woman who successfully fought the cancer that stole my cousin away at too early an age.

I am from dust bunnies and antique violin cases, photo albums of fleeting stardom and long lasting memories, from tennis and baseball trophies won by family heroes and an Oscar earned by a man who ultimately gave his life for it. I am from quick kisses, warm hugs and blazing love.

Random Things

2010-10-03T21:33:00.000-07:00

I was surfing a friend's newly published blog (which I am not linking to for privacy sake, unless she gives me blessings) and ran across her post of 25 random things. I posted mine on Facebook back in January 2009, and thought I'd take a stroll down memory lane to see what my 25 things were. Amazingly, 24 were right on target, and just a few needed "freshening up." Here goes!

1. I like to know what the rules are. And, I like to find my way around them whenever possible, because they don’t apply to me.

Yes, this is a shark EATING a snake!

2. I still have a fascination with snakes and sharks. But I don’t want to run into one in its natural habitat.

3. I love leaving my kids with a babysitter for a few hours to run errands or go to work. Missing and appreciating them helps me be a better mommy when I return. I am never more loved than when I come home to 4 happy faces overjoyed to see me. Well, 5 if you count my husband or the sitter.

4. I like to work. I think I am really good at what I do. I guess other people feel the same way! (LOVE my clients!)

5. I like things in pairs. I am always buying things in pairs when I am grocery shopping or buying clothes. Two jars of mayo. Two cans of soup. Two bags of chips. Two t-shirts. It’s been a mild obsession since my early 20’s. Apparently it was genetic because my children come in pairs, too.

6. I have 2 sets of twins. All girls. They are 21 months apart. My twins are fraternal. I did not have IVF treatments, though the majority of people think I did in order to have so many kids so fast. I’m just cool like that. (And read line #5 above.) I have a T-shirt that reads on the front: “Yes, twins run in my family” … the back says, “Which way did they go?” My favorite bag is shown here. (Search for twins.)

7. I hated being pregnant. Almost every day, I wanted to shove ice picks in my ears to make it all end. I was totally miserable for 8 month out of the full 9 months, both times. I finally figured out how it happens and I’ve never doing that again.

8. I actually like Top 10 lists. Once of my friends and I will each write a Top 10 list of whatever strikes our fancy on the back of our envelopes when we write each other. (The old fashioned way… with ink and paper!) Though since 2009, it's been on a facebook post.

9. I can never live up to my mother’s standards even though I strive to be more like her each and every day I’m alive. That’s actually a compliment to her.

10. My husband is a saint to put up with me. He helps out with the kids so much. Although he probably doesn’t know he has the option. Thankfully he doesn’t have many friends that tell him he’s doing too much around the house for us.

11. I have a rescue kitty, Annie, whom I saved at a day old. The vet checked her out and somberly told me he'd "take care of her" for me so I wouldn't have to deal with it. I took her home and loved her. She's 13 now. She dislikes my husband very much. She got even more pissed when I started bringing babies home.

12. I hated all things “princess” until my older girls turned 2 years old and taught me that being a princess is fun.

13. I dress my girls in pink and purple a lot. #1 and #3 are purple Twincess and purple Twinado, respectively. #2 and #4 are their pink counterparts. Everything was color coordinated down to their bottles, pacifiers, blankets, etc. My favorite color is purple. I wear pink shirts a lot to balance it out since I don’t want the 2 pink kids to feel slighted that I prefer purple.

14. I cannot stand doing domestic chores like cleaning the house or doing dishes. I love cooking and baking. The aftermath of said domesticness is the reason I only cook a big family meal a few times a week, if that.

15. My mother taught me fairness and balance in a world where it rarely exists. Yet her favorite phrase was “life isn’t fair.” I do my best to control the balance in my house by giving each child the opportunity to have what the other has, etc.; however I’m not going to give one child a quarter just because the other kid found one in the street. After all, life isn’t fair.

16. My feet, after my pregnancies, are a size 12 wide. Most stores sell a wide variety of women's shoes up to size 10, and a handful of ugly or impractical shoes in 11. The only places that sell 12 wide women’s shoes are the transvestite shops in West Hollywood, and they all have a 5-inch stiletto heel. I’ve settled on wearing size 11 men’s Converse all-stars. They fit perfectly. God help me if I am invited to another wedding though. Maybe Converse sells a sequined version.

17. I didn’t vote for him. Don’t blame me. (Oops, i just lost 5 of my 14 readers....)

18. My kids have been too quiet for too long. I just discovered they have covered their bodies head-to-toe in return address stickers. They were going to start decorating the babies too. Yes, my husband is sitting 4 feet away from them oblivious to the whole thing. [Posted in 2009, and just too funny to take out!]

19. I chew ice. So much in fact that I broke a tooth 2 years ago and now have 4 crowns on my lower back molars. So now I chew on the other side on the one "real"tooth I have left . Chomp chomp.

20. I am stubborn and I will stand on principle. However, if I am wrong, I am usually the first to admit it. That being said, I am never wrong.

21. I watch way too much TV. I love Dexter, Lost, 24, and a ton of other prime time network shows (in 2009). However I think American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, and all those other performance reality shows are ridiculous. Unless they ask me to do a show, that is. Then I will rethink that statement.

22. I have been in 2 rock music videos and my each of my kids were hired for 4 TV shows (and at least one appeared on every show they were hired for, unlike their "back-up" babies in the next trailer).

J.R. Richards

Rodney Browning Cravens (and me)

23. I have seen one rock band / front man perform in person at least 100 times and have traveled at least 700 miles round trip to see them on more than a handful of occasions. The band partied in our hotel room once. I even have pictures to prove it. Here they are, from a show on the beach near Santa Cruz, CA in October of 2004.

24. My kids were all conceived on weekends where I went to a concert with a bestie of mine. Maybe Deena is their father?

25. My husband thinks I am working right now and is diligently watching the kids as I blog in the next room. D’oh!

photo credits: pics are mine. the rest I foundand gave propercredit for, then I lost the post and my links to go along with them. Sorry about that.

Week 5 thru 7 - Life as a Post-Op Bariatric Patient.

2010-09-30T00:54:00.000-07:00

Week 1; Week 2; Week 3; Week 4 <-- read me first in case you're new here!

Weeks 5 thru 7

My doctor’s appt at the end of the 4 week period did result in a LapBand tightening. What’s that? Yeah… that’s the part THEY DON’T TELL YOU ABOUT! Well, I will.

They had me lay down on a gurney. Mind you, it was a regular gurney, like the kind made for skinny people. I had to laugh at the irony. Their ~~weighting~~ waiting rooms have these double wide comfy-as-all-hell chairs in them, so to throw my fat ass on a skinny gurney kinda cracked me up.

Doc comes in to say hi. Cracks a joke with the administrator. Tells me to pull up my shirt so he could check my incisions, which have closed up very nicely, but still look a wee bit red on my never-seen-sun stomach. Then he jams this 4 inch long needle into my stomach. Wooooooowwww!!!

No, it didn’t hurt at all, but my eyeballs were telling me I should have been screaming. Dr. ~~Evil~~ Naim found the port embedded into my abdominal wall and inserts 2 cc’s of fluid into the LapBand, which in effect tightens the band around my stomach, thereby forcing me to take longer to eat, to take much smaller bites, and chew much longer than I might have normally done. Then he says to stand up. What? Stand up? I have a GIANT NEEDLE sticking out of my stomach, like an arrow hanging out of a target spray painted onto a bale of hay . And, I need to stand up? Isn’t that like doing a marathon while trying to deliver a baby? Yeah, I thought it was the exact same thing, too!

I do the impossible, and stand up. Dr. ~~Naim~~ Evil then tells me to walk across the room and stand in some weird contraption so they can check out my guts from the inside out. I walk over to the machine with a sick fascination requiring me to only watch my floppy stainless steel hitchhiker. I almost tripped. That would have been awkward, no? I drank some stuff and it got stuck, so Dr. Evil sucks out a ½ cc of fluid from the band using that floppy needle, and we watch the stuff go through my guts. OK, so my pipes are all open and I’m good to go. Needle comes out, itty-bitty bandaid goes on. They send me on my way… and “oh, by the way, you can’t eat anything for 2 days. Have a nice day!”

Well, back at our pig out fest in Week 4, Joe tells me “everybody throws up, sometime” and my turn will come. I assured him that I will know my limits and I won’t throw up. He said to text him when it happens. Sure, Joe. Of course, when my chips floated up into my throat on the drive home that very night, that was my motivation to man up and keep those chips IN my body, because I was NOT going to text him and admit defeat in this lifetime.

So sorry.... but I HAD to!!!

Fast forward to Saturday afternoon, after my 2 days of no food diet, I am STARVING. I made my kids a late lunch of chicken nuggets and baked fries, so I helped myself to 7 of those fries and a half of filet of salmon (my typical meal a few days prior….). I ate 3 fries right away… I hadn’t had fries for over a month so I was excited. I chewed those bad boys up really well and swallowed.

Oh crap. I knew right away that I was going to be sending a text to Joe, and it was NOT going to be very nice. I waited another HOUR for that to settle, and I went to go get the fish I set aside for myself and it was GONE! WTH? Well, hubby ate it. He saw I wasn’t doing well and ate it so it wouldn’t be tempting to me. How sweet. Aurgh!

I cooked another filet and took one warm, steamy bite of fish. So yummy. Uh oh…. So wrong. I sent another colorful text to Joe. Well, it took me another few days to learn that “a bite” really should be “a bit”. OK, so I needed to train myself how to eat. Again. It took me an hour to get a quarter of the fish filet down the hatch. But it was delicious!

Within a week, I could eat pretty well again. Which is a good thing … my 7^th wedding anniversary was this week (week 7) so it was nice to go to a restaurant and eat just enough that the waiter doesn’t call psych services on me, but not too much as to finish my plate or get ill because I ate too much. Note … more Mexican kryptonite. J

I’m down another 8 pounds for a total of 28 lbs lost. I’ll probably ASK to be tightened again on my appointment in mid October. I think I need the added control during the parties, parties, parties… and Halloween!

I also need to start working out again. It’s been a little crazy with the kids’ new school schedule. I’ve messed up the nanny’s schedule something awful and I’ve missed the gym. A lot. Hopefully in October, it will get back on track a bit. Wish me luck. My goal is to be 35 pounds down by the end of Month 2. That’s only 7 to go, and I’ve got 2 more weeks to accomplish this. I am once again, SO GLAD that oBand Center got me back on track, back to health, and back to my life.

Late Edit: Don't take this post as a complaint... in fact, I think it's all hysterical, which is why I wrote it. There's NOTHING that having a LapBand can throw my way that I haven't handled before. To me, this process is a piece of cake (pun intended, especially since cake doesn't go down well these days...!). Dr. Evil is my new fav doc. Looking forward to seeing him again in 2 weeks!

Dog Days

2010-09-29T00:11:00.000-07:00

It's hot. Like 111 in the shade at 5 pm hot. (seriously, yesterday....! but today's high was 98 and sticky!)

I'm OK with it.... it's usually a dry heat, after all. I've been in hotter places. Like the time when I was a teenager on a family vacation and dealing with a breakdown that required us to spend 13 hours in ~~hell~~ lawnchairs on the side of the freeway along that long, straight, boring uphill stretch of I-15 outside of Baker, CA on the way to Vegas. Anyone who has driven from LA to Vegas knows exactly where that is.

Diagnosis: Vapor Lock. It's where it's so damn hot outside, that the gasoline inside your tank vaporizes into gas and the car won't go anymore. Because it needs to drink liquid, not huff fumes. Kinda like us. This was back in the day when cars didn't have that little dash guage telling us how hot is was. On previous breakdowns, we would just sit around with sweat dripping out of our hair and we would guess. We may have had a thermometer in the boat we were towing or maybe we just guessed for fun, without affirmation. But this trip, we had proof positive staring at us for hours. In the shape of a GIANT thermometer. The World's Largest Thermometer, actually. And the only thing that Baker, CA is known for. It was 127 degrees and super humid. Did I mention we were out there in the elements for 13 hours??? Yes, it was after midnight before the car cooled down sufficiently to cause the gas molucles in the tank to stop bouncing around so much and re-form that liquid gold which cars so desire. Good times.

Well, it was hot and humid out today so instead of serving a nice healthy, boring lunch, as usual, I took the gaggle of girls out to Rite Aid for ice cream. They were estactic. Then they were messy.

Life is good.

PS -- Because it's late at night, my AC is set for 79 degrees. It just kicked on. Really? At 12:10 AM?

Photo credit: me (girls), and http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2893 (thermometer)

Countdown 3...2...1

2010-09-26T16:03:00.000-07:00

*10* Random Things about Me:

1. I have 2 sets of twin girls, 21 months apart

2. E.T. was filmed across the street from my house when I was a kid; our house can be seen in several scenes.
3. I am a new blogger.
4. I just moved 4 miles from where I was born, which is about an hour from the area where I had lived since I was 9.
5. I would take home every stray or wounded cat, if I could.
6. Each of my girls were hired on 4 TV shows when they were infants, though some got more screen time than others.
7. I met my husband on a free online dating service.
8. I spent a month in Japan when I was a teenager.
9. I can move each eye independent from the other.
10. Tomorrow is my 7th wedding anniversary.

*9* Things I Love

1. My God
2. My family
3. My freedom
4. My job(s)
5. My blessings
6. My friends
7. That I live in Southern California
8. Driving
9. Food (especially when driving!)

*8* Things I Hate:

1. Body odor

2. Cigarette smoke
3. Other people making me wait (including my own kids!)
4. Moms who insist on “their way is the best/only way” without first walking a mile in the shoes of others.
5. Lukewarm food – unless it’s intended to be that way
6. Exercise
7. Telecommunication failures
8. Housekeeping

*7* Ways to Annoy Me:

1. Require me to repeat instructions more than twice
2. Ignore me

3. Make me wait for you
4. Distrust me
5. Fail to keep your promise
6. Flake on me or blow off commitments
7. Fail to keep an eye on YOUR children

*6* Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. Go to Europe and somewhere exotically tropical
2. Lose 200 pounds (only 170 to go!)
3. Be a light in my world
4. Raise up my children to be exceptional people
5. Hold all of my future grandchildren
6. Become financially secure (or super rich)

*5* Things I'm Afraid Of:

1. Dying, before my life is over
2. My #2 getting stung by a bee or getting exposed to peanuts or raw eggs, when I’m not there

3. Being financially overburdened
4. Car accidents
5. Losing a child

*4* Things I Want:

1. About $5 million
2. (Another) newer house with a larger garage and kitchen, and 2 extra bedrooms
3. Free flex childcare for the next 5 years
4. My #2 to get into the same preschool class her sister is in… SOON.

*3* Things I do Everyday:

1. Love on my children
2. Spend too much time on my cell/computer
3. Smile

*2* Things I Want to Do Right Now:

1. Eat about 2 tons of burgers, seafood, salad and rich chocolate cake or brownies – without consequences!
2. Take a nap or a shower (but, no… I have to spend that time blogging, don’t I?? Dumb choice, Tam)

*1* Thing I am Excited About:

1. Going on a date with my hubby tomorrow night to celebrate

Photo credits: stuff from all over the place. Google Images could be helpful. The wedding pic is mine.

A Post With Two Possible Titles

2010-09-23T20:50:00.000-07:00

Positively spun: “Everything’s BIG in America" (including this post, so pull up a comfy chair and get a glass of water)

Negatively stated: "Now I Know Why the World Hates Us"

For the past two years, once a year, I have navigated to LAX around midnight to pick up a strange young lady to spend the next year living in my home, exchanging room and board, a few hundred bucks each month, and “the American Experience” for a flexible ~~slave~~ nanny to watch my children with me or take charge when I need to leave the house ~~for some sanity~~ to go to work.

After brief pleasantries, I put her luggage in my van as the exhausted girl quietly sits in the passenger seat. While we drive to my home, I steal glances at the strange traveler, watching the size of her eyes as she takes in the sights of West LA, then downtown LA, and finally into the foothill areas where I lived. It’s also a look that I see frequently on others faces whenever I am out alone with my 2 sets of preschool aged twin girls. Simply stated: “Oh My God, people do things big here.”

These girls are au pairs. They are matched with our family ~~much like one finds love on the internet~~ online. The ~~hunters~~ parents seek out ~~prey~~ the au pair by searching through the various profiles and pictures and deciding on several we want to get to know better. After a few Skype calls, we agree to live together, harmonious, for the sake of raising my children. One of these days, I’ll dedicate a post on what this means to me and what it could mean to you, if my dear reader needs childcare.

As our new family member sees our approaching Foothills outlined in the moon’s glow and hovering over our home, her eyes become the shape of saucers as she takes in the mountainous sight. I suppose I wouldn’t get this reaction of my new nanny lived in Austria, however the two girls I’ve had stay with us have come from the Brazilian flatlands and the Netherlands: both areas much like Kansas, without all the wheat. The next morning as the sun streams into her window, she’s amazed as our Foothills loom above the house, all aglow in colors of the foliage.

She comes out of her room, jet-lagged and blurry-eyed and sees me again. All 6 feet of me and carrying over 200 pounds of extra fluff. “Gi-freakin-normous!,” she thinks, as if street-English is her first language. Then she sees my husband, also sporting an extra 100 pounds on his 6’3” frame. Next come my kids, two of the largest 18-month old girls she’s ever seen – even larger than the ones in National Geographic, which of course my culturally enlightened nanny has been subscribing to since birth – followed by 3-year olds the size of the average kindergartener. Yes, each and every one of my girls has, at one point, been over the 100 percentile in both height and weight, and a few still sport those BIG labels. “Wow,” she says to herself. “I am a midget here.” (Of course, not only are my kids physically huge, they also talk big… and LOUD. There is no off button on my litter of girls.)

Since we get home at midnight, she doesn't get the grand tour until morning. Here I am, appalled that my home has only 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms (1 of which she will share with me and all 4 girls). But, our house is even big to them. They are used to putting 3 or 4 kids in each room and having a whole family share one bathroom. To them, my too-small house is actually luxury.

She’s now been awake for about an hour. Time to go shopping: as usual, we are out of diapers and the foreigner needs to pick up some basic toiletries. Coming to America for a year with only two suitcases is rather limiting, after all. We all pile into our 8-passenger van. Europe does not have the concept of mini-vans, especially Holland where everyone rides bikes and Brazil where everyone takes the bus or walks. Cars larger than an Accord just blow their minds. Americans live in excess.

We arrive at our destination: Wal-mart (or Target). Her eyes seem like they will spring forth from her face. Where she is from, their mega-stores are between the size of 7-elevens and Trader Joes. At their grocery stores, they are lucky if there are two brands of mayonnaise to choose from and even then, you are out of luck if 8 other people got there before you. At any given Albertson’s or Ralph’s in America, we have 15 brands of mayo AND 6 sizes to choose from.

An entire floor-to-ceiling row of cereal? One row dedicated to toothpaste and toothbrushes? Are you kidding me?

Wait til I take her to Costco or Sam’s Club! That’s next on the list and she is totally blown away. The ceiling heights of these massive bulk retailers, the sheer square footage, and the overall enormity of the sizes of STUFF that we buy are inconceivable to her. What do you mean… 48 rolls of TP in one bag? Who needs 20 pounds of potatoes at once? A 5-pound bag of shredded cheese? A 4-pack box of gallon-sized milk?

Where do you put all that stuff?

(Oh yeah, did I not mention that we have 2 refrigerators at home? A massive pantry/storage unit? And soon to have a sub-zero freezer?)

By the end of our shopping trip, she is freaking out and telling me excitedly about all the people in her life who would be amazed at the excess of what she just witnessed. I guess I have to say that our foreigners live much like those in Manhattan do… they buy the day’s consumables on their way home from work because there is no place to store anything, and there are always a bread shop, a meat shop, a dairy store, etc., along the main street where they live.

Our foreigners have no concept of an indoor mall. Both of my nannies spent countless hours (and dollars) the Americana and Galleria in Glendale. A cinema with 20 movie choices every day? A full-sized Target and 200 other stores in two building complexes taking up 4 city blocks? UNBELIVEABLE.

Oh, and the fast-food choices we have. Along our 4-mile portion of the one main street in our town (a noisy yet small out-of-the-way suburb of Los Angeles), we had 12 major fast food chain stores and a dozen independent fast food joints to choose from. Believe it or not, we were still missing a handful of fast food stores (no Wendy’s, Carl’s or Arby’s for us!). In my nanny’s small town, they had one McDonalds and it was NOT open 24/7. They had to drive 40 minutes to get to the next fast food joint. If they wanted a choice of a few burger places, they had to go to Amsterdam or Rotterdam, both over 2 hours away, and the only 2 places in the entire country that had such excess.

Unfortunately, the same little town we lived in had “only” 5 real sit-down restaurants: Coco’s, Denny’s and IHOP, and 2 independent Mexican food places, but that’s still better than what was offered at my nannies’ home towns (and… I am sure, in many towns across America, but I live in Los Angeles and we’re used to this). We felt jilted that we needed to drive 20 minutes to a Target or a “real” restaurant, like Outback or The Cheesecake Factory, or to the movies. We also had two parks … one without any playground equipment 4 miles away, and the other which was a cesspool that attracted homeless transients and mental patients. Not the place to take toddlers.

When we moved into a “community-based” city in Orange County, my nanny – who had been with us almost a year at that point and felt she’d seen it all – was again bowled over by our new place. We added 30% square footage to our new place, including an extra bedroom and bathroom, plus a real dining room and a formal living room. The open area and vaulted ceilings are almost a waste of usable space! But, it’s only 2100 sq ft – fairly average – and clearly nothing like Aaron Spelling’s 56,500 sq ft 100+ room mansion on 4.7 acres in Beverly Hills.

Within walking distance of our new place is an indoor mall with 200+ retail stores, a Walmart, Home Depot, Trader Joe’s, Albertson’s, Baby’s R’ Us, Target, tons of banks, 3 well-equipped parks, and about 10 real sit-down restaurants (TGI Fridays, Red Lobster, Red Robin, Outback, Soup Plantation, Cheesecake Factory, BJs and more!!). In our whole town which can’t be more than 1 mile wide and 5 miles long, there are also 24 movie screens and about 20 more large restaurants and probably 100 small shops that sell food, including Panda Express, 4 Starbucks including 1 drive-thru, Goldsteins’, Chinese-food shops, etc. Nanny is in heaven. And completely broke.

I’m in heaven too. One of these days when I have money to spend again, I too will be able to enjoy the malls and restaurants… but for now, I’ll keep my gaggle of girls at home where it’s cheaper to exist and things aren’t so large.

The other thing we do big here (as compared to Europe) is celebrate.

Halloween? WOW… costumes and candy and spooktacular events, oh my! They don’t even have Halloween in Holland.

Thanksgiving was hysterical… especially cooking the turkey. Our food is big!! They are used to chickens that aren’t treated with steroids. Our portions are big. They use salad sized plates – we use serving trays for plates. The amount of food we consume (especially on holidays) is outrageous. (No wonder people in general are thinner overseas!) They use glasses that are 4-6 ozs for their drink serving sizes. At our home, we have 32 oz cups or sippy cups. That’s it.

In Holland, they think our version of Christmas is craziness… they don’t exchange gifts or put up Christmas lights. They just have a warm family dinner and celebrate the real reason for the season, without all the hoopla that comes with it in our world.

We celebrate everything… St. Patrick’s Day’s green-ness. Valentine’s Day’s red-ness. Easter’s bunny-ness. Chocolate for all occasions. Memorial Day, Independence Day and Veteran’s Day patriotism…. My nanny is continually amazed by all the American flags she sees that decorate homes, buildings, and poles everywhere, not just on those 3 days.

But birthday celebrations in America are in excess to the extreme. One of my acquaintances’ had a birthday party for her 5-yr old. They had a real miniature train that ran on tracks they set up which lined their entire street. She wanted to get the kid an elephant, but it didn’t work out. (An ELEPHANT? Seriously???) So there was a pony ride set up instead. And, of course, she had a popcorn machine and a cotton candy machine, entertainers, bounce houses, and goody bags for all the kids. I can’t fathom spending thousands of dollars on a kid’s party, but people do it!

For our 4-yr old twins, we had a simple party in our backyard with a few dozen people, including family, friends and their kids, and we served burgers and dogs. We did spring for a bounce house for the first time. And, THAT was still huge in the eyes of our nanny. I booked the elephant for their 6th birthday party. No, I didn’t.

So, are we a nation of excess? I think it’s fair to say we are a SPOILED county. But we certainly have fun, huh?

What do you think is excessive here in America? I'm sure I didn't cover it all!

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

2010-09-16T15:18:00.000-07:00

My little “poor me” rant from earlier this week was apparently ill timed.

One of my besties… a mom I met in a breast feeding class during our first pregnancies four and a half years ago… is FINALLY back from an interim 5-month relo, 2000 miles away. I have missed her fiercely. She used to live 15 minutes away from us, but bought a house 25 minutes away (no problem there!). However, due to my summer relocation in the opposite direction, she now lives 80 minutes away. ~~Hmmm, maybe I could convert her...~~

Her oldest daughter is our missing triplet. The Twincesses LOVE being with her. And it turns out that her 18-m old daughter, now "so much older" than before she left a half lifetime ago, gets along great with my 2 yr old Twinados. All is good in Princess Land.

Far Away Friend came over to play today and to see our new digs for the first time. (Skype just wasn’t cutting it!) It so happened that during our visit, I was lamenting to her about my lack of ability to find playmates out here. She had read my blog post ~~and lurked~~ so she understood my frustrations. She’s now finding herself in the same boat having just returned from her extended trip away. It’s like she’s starting all over again because the connections she had in her Mommy World have all moved on when she was gone.

After a few urgent requests from ~~the Peanut Gallery~~ Princess Land, it was decided that a walk was needed. My gaggle of girls and the Nanny, and my Far Away Friend and her girls, and I went to our community park to play. And what happens? A mom with a 2-yr girl (and a 5-yr old girl, who was at school this morning) comes across the street into the park and joins us.

Apparently New Mom’s girls have played with my girls once before when Nanny was in charge last week. She joined us, and we quickly exchanged pleasantries. (OMG, now’s my chance!)

I practically jumped all over her when I found out she had been a 3 yr resident of my neighborhood. I wanted the scoop, the gossip, anything to make me feel more connected to the place we have decided to call home for the next 20 years. In our short visit, I learned the Halloween customs around the neighborhood and also discovered that the roof on the house I just bought is relatively new, unlike the reports we received that said the roof was older. I also got to hear the juice on the house across from the park that we bid on initially, even though we were ignored during the process as if we weren’t good enough to live there. I got validation that it’s not US, it was THEM (the bank) that had issues getting the place sold. Whew. Then New Mom said she needed to go because her Big Sister was due to get out of school soon.

But before she left, an amazing thing happened. New Mom got out her cell phone and asked for my number! Yeah, I played it cool... as I stealthily poked Far Away Friends leg so hard, I may have punctured something.

But I floated home on butterfly wings and Far Away Friend told me that “I still got it” … and it looked so easy. My faith in Womankind and Mommy World has been renewed. All is well in my world.